Monday 24 December 2012

Barnaby gets into the xmas spirit - free gift.

Barnaby would like to wish all of his readers a very happy xmas and a prosperous new year. As he is currently full of Ho Ho Ho, mulled wine and minced pies he would also like to give a small gift to anyone reading this blog.
Anybody who emails Barnaby Wilde with the magic words "The Women Furies" will be sent, by email, a free copy of his short story by the same name, which is unavailable by any other means.
Barnaby's email address can be found at along with details of his other published books, some of which are also available for free download.
For those of you with new ebook readers this xmas or those of you who have yet to fully explore Barnaby's world, you will find books of quirky verse, humorous novels, short stories and detective fiction on the website.
Happy Reading and a Very Happy Xmas to you all, from Barnaby.

Saturday 15 December 2012

Barnaby Gets Some Sun

While Britain froze last week in sub zero temperatures, Barnaby had cleverly relocated to the South of Spain temporarily (well, for a week's holiday anyway) and found himself sitting on deserted beaches in temperatures of 18c nursing a cold beer in one hand and his Kindle in the other. He never ceases to marvel at the ability to carry his entire library with him wherever he travels. He is also constanly impressed by the number of high quality new authors struggling for recognition. To that end, Barnaby urges you to leave reviews for any ebooks you have enjoyed reading. The authors welcome the feedback more than any money they might receive if the truth is told.
Barnaby was pleased to see how many people on the plane were reading on their tablets or ebook readers and embarassed everyone by handing out his own business card to anybody he saw reading an ebook. His suggestion to use it as a bookmark seemed to fall on deaf ears.
Despite the sunshine in Spain, Barnaby is pleased to be back at work writing the next Mercedes Drew mysteries, which he hopes to publish next spring. Meanwhile you can catch up with the first volume, 'Flowers for Mercedes' (which is receiving some nice reviews) or any other of Barnaby's ebooks at
Happy reading.

Wednesday 5 December 2012

A Winter's Tale

Those folk at Top Writers Block have published another collection of short stories inspired by the cover title 'A Winter's Tale'.  Once again, the collection's proceeds will go to charity. The charity Sea Shepherd has dedicated itself to protecting our oceans. To purchase this book in the ebook format of your choice, for Kindle, Nook, Kobo, PC etc, click  here     Authors include Suzy Stewart Dubot, David Keith, Elizabeth Rowan Keith, Bill Rayburn, Melissa Szydlek, David Waine, and Barnaby Wilde
           Review by: Anna Scott Graham on Dec. 04, 2012 : starstarstarstarstar
A fantastic collection of a gamut of tales which brought a shiver up my spine, also a gleam in my eye, followed by a lump in my throat. Highly recommended for any time of year, but especially as days grow short and temperatures drop.

Friday 23 November 2012

Flowers for Mercedes

Flowers for Mercedes, the first volume of Mercedes Drew mysteries, is now available at Smashwords for immediate download in the ebook format of your choice.

A girl on a motorbike, a hit and run, a detective called Flowers, a warehouse robbery, a train derailment, a missing cat, arson, kidnap and more in three complete stories about Mercedes Drew which, together, form the first part of the Mercedes Drew mysteries.

Will Mercedes Drew ever find true love? Will Detective Inspector Flowers solve the mystery of the missing cat? Who is stealing the covers off the drains? Why won't Mr Chatterjee say who set fire to his restaurant? Who is Dogtooth? Where is the lead from St Stephen's Church roof?

Answers to these questions and more in Flowers for Mercedes (volume one)
As always, you can find out more about all Barnaby Wilde's novels, short stories and poems at

Friday 16 November 2012

Barnaby and Excitement

There are those who would say that the words Barnaby and Excitement are rarely seen in the same sentence and Barnaby would probably agree that he tends more towards considered contentment than unconcealed enthusiasm, however he is showing an unusual degree of animation over his latest project - The Mercedes Drew Mysteries.
This is Barnaby's first foray into the world of detective fiction and you will have to wait a while yet for the finished result, but B.W. is quietly exhilerated by progress so far.
Of course, if you can't wait, you can still visit to be stimulated by his quirky verse, inspired by his short stories or delighted by his comic novels.
B.W. meanwhile, is in a state of restless tension until he can get back to his keyboard and continue typing.
It's even possible that he may display an atypical trace of excitement at the prospect.

Tuesday 6 November 2012

Barnaby and Facebook

Barnaby is not convinced by Facebook. All around him he sees (young) people sharing their lives on social media websites and he has to confess he doesn't really get it. To Barnaby social media is sendng someone a handwritten letter, or sitting down together to watch TV. Apparently this makes him something of a dinosaur. It's all about having lots of 'friends' linked to your facebook account, even though you may never have met some of these 'friends' in your life.
So, Barnaby has got a facebook page and a 'like' button on his website. (
Now he just needs lots of 'friends'.
If you are Facebook user and you 'like' B.W. maybe you could visit his website and click the 'like' button (it's in the section called 'Other Stuff', and Barnaby despite his wish to be 'liked' has confusingly labelled the button 'recommend')
Of course, if you are a dinosaur, like BW, then you could go directly to his website at and click on any of the book titles to find out how to download one of his ebooks.
Go on. Convince Barnaby that social networking is the way to be 'liked'.

Friday 2 November 2012

It's BIG! It's VERY BIG!!

Barnaby's Shorts, volumes 1, 2 and 3 are now available in one collection, exclusively from Amazon.

Barnaby's Big Book of Shorts contains all thirty of his coffee break sized short stories previously published as separate volumes.

Click here for more information.

Barnaby's Big Book of Shorts is also available to borrow free under the Kindle Owners Lending Library scheme.
(more info here ).

Barnaby thinks this would make an excellent present for anyone who has just got a new Kindle. (But then he would).

Why not visit for more information about this book and other ebooks (some free) by Barnaby Wilde.

Of course, you can still download Barnaby's Shorts volumes 1,2 and 3 from Smashwords or other ebook retailers in any format to suit your ebook reader. Visit the website for more information.

Monday 29 October 2012

NEW!!! Barnaby's Shorts - Volume Three

Barnaby's Shorts - Volume Three, is now available to download in the ebook format of your choice at Smashwords

Ten more coffee break sized stories. A varied collection to suit all tastes, ideal for reading in the bath, on the train, in bed or on the beach.

A hint of sci fi in Cube Roots; gentle humour from the world of the Vertigo Research Labs in Jocelyn; adventure in Where Angels Fear to Tread; A shaggy dog story and an old man's search for his roots in Visiting Worseley.

What if dragons were very small? Why is Jack running, jumping, never standing still? Why does Jethro need a tractor to move house? Answers to these mysteries and more inside.

Volume Three will be available for FREE download for a few days.

For more information about Barnaby's other books of quirky poems, short stories or full length novels, go to             

Tuesday 16 October 2012

Barnaby's Back

Barnaby has backache. During the last couple of weeks he has been driving rather more than normal and his back is showing the strain. The damage was mostly done in Ireland where Barnaby found himself driving four hour journeys to and from the airport twice in as many days in the smallest hire car ever seen on potholed country lanes, that in Ireland are apparently used as main trunk routes.
This was compounded by a couple of equally long journeys in England, albeit in his own car and on decent roads. Nevertheless, the damage was already done.
Fortunately, the major driving is over for the moment and Barnaby is looking forward to a few weeks of quietude at home.
Barnaby's back, of course, has a double meaning (these blog entries aren't just thrown together, you know) and he is pleased to be back at his keyboard writing. He hopes to have a new volume of short stories available for publication well in time for Xmas.
To get you in the Xmas spirit, there is still an opportunity to download Volume One of Short Stories FREE by visiting You will also find a couple of volumes of poems and the first Tom Fletcher novel (I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday) still available for FREE download at the moment.
Of course, if you enjoy the FREE books, you could leave a review, tell you friends and maybe purchase one of the other books.
So much choice. So little time. 

Friday 28 September 2012

Why Me

Barnaby is pleased to be able to announce the latest volume from those Indie ebook authors at Top Writer's Block.
This collection of eleven short stories, inspired by the title 'Why Me?' is sold on behalf of the charity Sea Shepherd.
You can find out more by clicking on the link Why Me?
The stories cover a whole range of subjects including a discussion about dragons (just a small one), animal cruelty, historical romance, the problems of living in the First World and many more.
Top Writer's Block is a group of Independent authors who come together from time to time to write collectively to raise funds for charity.
Barnaby is also pleased to announce that his own special event is still running at Smashwords. See the previous post for details.
You can find out more about all Barnaby's books at
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Tuesday 11 September 2012

Barnaby has an event.

Buoyed by the success of the Olympics and the Paralympics and excited by the first Grand Slam Tennis win by a British player for more than seventy years, Barnaby has decided to hold his own event.
For the next two weeks you will be able to download copies of the first Tom Fletcher novel 'I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday' absolutely free. Click here

For the same period, you will also be able to download his first volume of short stories, 'Barnaby's Shorts (volume one)' at no cost. Click here

As if this wasn't enough, TWO books of quirky verse will also be downloadable for FREE. 'Animalia'  Click here  and 'Not at all Rhinocerus' Click here

All Barnaby asks in return, if you enjoy any of the books, is that you revisit the book pages at the links above and post a review as well as telling all your friends.

You can find out more about Barnaby and his books at

Thursday 6 September 2012

Barnaby reshuffles his cabinet

Following news yesterday that the British Prime Minister, David Cameron, had reshuffled his cabinet for the first time in this Parliament in what is generally seen as a shift to the right, Barnaby decided that it would be a good time to reshuffle his own cabinet, which was bursting at the seams with a cornucopia of lost and misplaced items. Barnaby has often suspected that there must be a hidden room in his house since the number of things which have been put into a safe place and subsequently never been seen again, must be enough to fill a sizeable room by now. Sad to say, very few treasures were uncovered on this occasion, but order has been restored where once there was disorder.
Approximately half the items were shifted to the right and the other half shifted to the left, leaving the cabinet as unbalanced as it ever was.
With a warm glow of self satisfaction spreading over him following his exertions, Barnaby took a cold drink and a charged ereader out into the garden for a bit of well earned R and R.
Whether you decide to reshuffle your own cabinet or not, you could always take your own ereader, download one of Barnaby's books from and award yourself an hour's R and R in your own chosen space. Go on. You know you want to.

Friday 31 August 2012

Barnaby thinks about pigs

Actually, Barnaby has been thinking about a variety of animals during the past few days including badgers, chickens, pigs and monkeys, all of which are included in Gary Weston's new ebook Starlight Army, which has a theme concerning cruelty against animals. Su Kane and the Starlight Army ride out with the Revolting Animals Motorcycle Club to fight for those who share our planet but have no voice. Proceeds from his book go to the Peoples Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA)
(you can find out more about Starlight Army here )
Barnaby is happy to use this space to draw your attention to Gary's book, which is clearly getting a good reception from those who have already read it.
Of course, Barnaby also hopes that when you've checked out Gary Weston's books you'll also remember to visit to sample more of his own books.
Whichever you choose, Happy Reading.

Monday 20 August 2012

Barnaby thinks about road noise

Barnaby is fortunate to live in a beautiful part of the world, in Devon, surrounded by rolling hills and archetypal British farmland with it's patchwork of fields and hedges. He was walking with his partner and her dog yesterday and stopped to admire the view, which was, sadly, blighted by noise from the main road in the valley. Now Barnaby is not an engineer, but he supposes that since cars have become more aerodynamic over the years, with better and quieter engines, most of this noise is probably tyre noise. Perhaps the focus on tyre design over coming years could be to find ways to reduce this form of noise pollution and restore some tranquility to the countryside.
However, in the short term, Barnaby has a solution.
Find a comfortable spot with a great view. Open a bottle of wine, put in your earphones and play yourself some great background music. With your free hand, take up your ebook reader and try out one of Barnaby's books. A feast for the eyes, the ears, the mind and the stomach. What bliss!
You can find Barnaby's books as always at

Friday 17 August 2012

Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Two) now available

Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Two) is now available as an ebook on the platform of your choice. Visit Smashwords to view a sample or download a copy. (Also available at the Amazon Kindle Store )

You can find out about all Barnaby Wilde's other ebooks, including the Tom Fletcher novels and his books of Quirky Verse at

Monday 13 August 2012

Coming soon to an ebook reader near you

The stories have been wtitten. The proofs have been read and most of the formatting is now complete for the next volume of short stories, cunningly entitled Barnaby's Shorts (volume two) to prevent any possible confusion with a book of a similar name, Barnaby's Shorts (volume one).

Coffee break sized stories including gentle humour, a touch of sci fi, a smidgen of romance and an air of mystery. Stories include The Running Boy, The Magician's Cabinet, The Turing Test and The Case of the Missing Spray Cleaner.

Short stories ideal for lulling you to sleep at bedtime or reading on the train on your way to work.

Is it possible for an author to become trapped in a Kindle? What if you were being stalked by the Invisible Man? and where exactly do people go when magician's make them disappear?

Answers to these questions and more inside. It is anticipated that this book will be available on Smashwords within the next couple of days. Meanwhile, you can find all Barnaby's other books at right now.

Sunday 5 August 2012

Barnaby thinks about medals

We are into the second week of the London 2012 Olympic Games and Great Britain is doing well in the medal table. Barnaby has been taking a keen interest in sports that normally leave him undisturbed. He salutes all the athletes from every country who have achieved so much simply to get to perform at the games, whether they win or lose.
Downloads of 'Every which way but East' and 'Barnaby's Shorts (volume 1)' are going well and some good feedback has been received.
You can award Barnaby his own medal, if you enjoy his books, by leaving a review and telling your friends.
Despite the Olympic Games, Barnaby has found time to write a few more short stories and it is anticipated that Volume 2 of Barnaby's Shorts will appear before the end of August. Visit for up to date information on all of Barnaby's books.

Friday 27 July 2012

Barnaby prepares for the Olympics

Today is the official opening of the 2012 London Olympic games and Barnaby's preparations are peaking to coincide with the opening ceremony. The beer is in, the pre games meal is booked and Barnaby will be joining a group of like minded individuals (and a billion other folk worldwide) to watch the opening ceremony on a large screen TV in the local village hall.
He will pause only momentarily to consider how many of that billion might derive equal pleasure from reading one of his ebooks. Fortunately a small proportion have found their way to Barnaby's page at Smashwords to sample or download one of his books, several of which are on FREE promotion until the end of the month. You still have time to visit before then to find out more about the world of Barnaby Wilde.
After that, settle back, enjoy the spectacle and Let the Games Begin.

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One) Now published

Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One) is a collection of ten short stories, perfect for reading on those short journeys to work by plane or train. A mixed bag of stories about Tiny Aliens, an Accidental Bank Job and a tale of woman who grew herself a man from a bean (Benny).
Also included, The Horse who ran with the Wind (a story with a moral) and The Princess and the Frog, a fairy story (or is it?).
You can find out more by visiting to view a sample, download the book or view Barnaby's other titles.
Happy Reading.

Tuesday 17 July 2012

Barnaby gets five and makes ten

Reviews are always good to get, even the bad ones. All feedback is welcomed by authors, though, naturally, it's always nice to get a good one. Barnaby is delighted to have received a five star review for his latest novel Every which way but East which is proving to be his fastest downloaded work to date. (It is still available for FREE download on the above link for a short time).
Coming soon is a collection of ten short stories, provisionally titled Barnaby's Shorts , which is expected to be published within the next couple of weeks. The assorted stories, ideal for reading on a plane or train journey, include The Monkey Faced Boy, The Holey Oak, The Horse That Ran With the Wind, and a story about a spiral staircase that stopped working as well as a tale about a woman who grew her own man.
As usual, you can find out more about all Barnaby's books by visiting

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Barnaby muses on Fifty Shades of Grey

Barnaby is in awe of EL James who has become the first author to break the one million downloads on the Kindle ereader with her erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, the first book in her trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey.
Sadly, for those readers seeking more explicitly erotic scenes involving bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, Barnaby can only offer cats which walk through walls, multidimensional universes, men in duck costumes or quirky verses which may or may not feature a rhinoceros.
His latest Tom Fletcher novel 'Every which way but East' has become his fastest downloading novel to date, probably because it can still be downloaded FREE by visiting .
Barnaby can't promise that you'll find it sexually stimulating, but it might make you laugh.

Tuesday 3 July 2012

Every which way but East

The latest Tom Fletcher novel, Every which way but East is now published.

Retired, bored, bald Tom Fletcher uncovers another dastardly plot to change the laws of probability. Pausing only to take part in a Speed Dating evening, he is soon creating havoc across multiple universes dressed as a duck.

Can Tom beat the Smiths? Will he find love? Can he play darts? What's a duck got to do with anything?

This book should only be read by people with a sense of the absurd.               
For a short time this book is available as a FREE ebook download.  Visit for more information.

Sunday 1 July 2012


July is Sale Time at Smashwords.  For one whole month Barnaby is offering 50% off the normal price for his two Tom Fletcher novels, "I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday" and "A Question of Alignment". 

To read samples or to purchase either book, click on the appropriate title above. The Sale begins on July 1st.

For more information about Barnaby Wilde and all his published books, visit

Friday 29 June 2012


Low pressure systems continue to drift in across the country from the Atlantic with depressing regularity, bringing rain, wind and cloud with only occasional glimpses of the sun.  We are now past the longest day yet it feels as though summer this year has scarcely begun.

Every cloud, though, has a silver lining and Barnaby has been busy indoors typing when the weather was just too unpleasant to want to be outside. Even as the weeds have been growing apace in the garden, the third Tom Fletcher novel has been growing indoors.  As yet, the novel does not have a title, but it is anticipated that it will be completed and published as an ebook on Smashwords within the next couple of weeks.

As before, Tom Fletcher will be crashing through parallel universes and causing chaos, whilst Buff Gently and crew try to impose order and calm.  Expect clowns, elephants, ducks and darts to feature alongside skulduggery and speed dating.

For those who simply can't wait, or who have yet to catch up with Tom Fletcher's previous adventures, visit to read samples or download copies of all Barnaby Wilde's novels and humorous poems.  Meanwhile, Barnaby will try to come up with a title for the new book.  Happy reading.

Thursday 21 June 2012

Barnaby gets a star

This week Barnaby got a star. Sadly just a single one.  A reviewer on the Barnes and Noble website left a one star review for Barnaby's adventure 'A Question of Alignment'. 

The review read:-   "TERRIBLE¿¿¿¿  One of the worst things ever!!!!!!"

Always a man trying to see his glass half full, Barnaby draws comfort from the four 'signo de pregunta' (the upside down question marks) and the six exclamation marks as well as the juxtaposition of the Upper and Lower case characters.  He is a little disappointed, though, that the reviewer posted his remarks anonymously.

It would seem that this reader didn't enjoy the book.  Fortunately, many other readers have enjoyed the Tom Fletcher stories.  You can judge for yourself by visiting and reading a sample from 'I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday' or 'A Question of Alignment' as well as checking out Barnaby's books of humorous verse.

If you like what you read, then Barnaby would be delighted if you left a review.  The more stars the better!

Sunday 17 June 2012

Barnaby makes progress

Barnaby has been making good progress this week on recording the next adventure of Tom Fletcher.  As normal, Tom has been stumbling through life creating confusion whereever he goes.

After several years of inactivity, Tom, now a retired man, has taken up time travelling again, crashing through those East/West walls into parallel timelines, leaving his usual litter of objects that just shouldn't be there and risking upset to the fragile laws of probability.

This time, though, he may just have gone a wall too far.

Sadly, you will have to wait a few more weeks to find out just what chaos Tom has caused this time, but, of course, you can find out about his previous adventures as well as Barnaby Wilde's humorous verse, including some FREE downloads, by visiting

Have a nice day.

Sunday 3 June 2012

Barnaby waves the flag

This weekend is Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee and the country is awash with jubilee celebrations, street parties and bunting.  Mrs W has done her bit by hanging union flag bunting around the front of the Wilde home and erecting a large union flag by the front entrance.  Later today the Queen will lead a one thousand boat flotilla down the river Thames before hosting a large concert outside Buckingham Palace this evening.  (Barnaby's ticket was apparently lost in the mail).

Unfortunately the weather has not been kind and most of today's celebrations in London will have to be enjoyed in good old British rain.

Fortunately Barnaby's ebooks can be enjoyed in rain or shine and can be found in any weather at for preview or download in the format of your choice.

Today, Barnaby will be too busy waving the flag to write more, but normal service will be resumed tomorrow.  Have a nice day.

Sunday 27 May 2012

Barnaby makes an offer

Barnaby and Mrs W have been house hunting for several weeks.  They've looked at a lot of houses and, just like the Three Bears in Goldilocks, they've found some that are too big, some that are too small and at last, one that is just right.  It also has wonderful views, but it does need a lot of tlc.

Barnaby's offer has been accepted by the vendors and with luck he and Mrs W will soon be living in their new home and applying just the right amount of tlc to bring it back to life.

Of course Barnaby lavishes a lot of tlc on his ebooks and if you visit you will see that they also come in a range of sizes to suit every size of bear.  If you follow the links you will be able to find out for yourself whether they also come with wonderful views. Happy hunting.

Monday 21 May 2012

Barnaby sees the light - almost.

It won't have escaped the attention of anyone living in the UK that the Olympic Games are being held in London this summer.  Barnaby has been waiting for the call, but, so far, the telephone hasn't rung.
As part of the pre games hype the Olympic torch relay is transporting the 'flame' on a 7,000 mile journey around Britain during the 70 day countdown to the start of the games.
The flame was lit by the rays of the sun in Greece last week and began it's journey around the UK in Cornwall two days ago, arriving in Exeter last night, before being carried on into North Devon and Somerset later in the day.  Many thousands of people turned out to see the flame carried by one of the many chosen runners as it passed near to where they lived.
Barnaby and Mrs W. duly turned out and joined the crowds and waited for an hour for the runner to pass.  His arrival was announced by the approaching noise of the crowd, who rose as one with arms and cameras in the air to photograph the once in a lifetime opportunity.  Barnaby is pleased to be able to say that he got a momentary glimpse of the top of the torch as is passed by.
Of course you can get more than a momentary glimpse of any of Barnaby's books by visiting where you can sample or download any of the books to read at your leisure. What better way to prepare yourself for a summer of sport?

Tuesday 15 May 2012

Barnaby is in a wondering mood

Barnaby has been wondering how Alexander Graham Bell sold his first telephone? It's been keeping him awake at night.  Selling the second one would be comparatively easy, even though there would only have been one other person to call, and selling the third one would have been a piece of cake.  But that first one, aye, there's the rub.
It feels a bit like that selling a new book.  The author knows that it's a work of art, of course, but how to persuade the first reader to lay out hard cash and purchase a copy, that's the real trick.  Of course it's easy if you are an established author like John Grisham, or Vikram Seth because people know you already and will be eagerly awaiting the next instalment - though Barnaby seems to remember that even Vikram Seth had problems getting his first novel published - but for a new author it's an uphill struggle getting noticed.
It's comparatively easy to publish books these days as ebooks.  This gets over the first hurdle of how to make your magnum opus available to the world, but unless people read it, like it and tell their friends it's as likely to sit forever on the hard disc drive of some remote server as it ever was to end up in the remainder pile of the print book publisher. What the new author needs is good reviews.
Luckily it's very easy to download an ebook and almost as easy to leave a review once you've read it. Barnaby has decided to make it even easier and for the next few weeks both his novels 'I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday' and 'A Question of Alignment' are available for FREE download by visiting Why not make his day and download a copy now?

Thursday 10 May 2012

Barnaby thinks about kerb appeal

It is frequently said that prospective buyers of a property make up their minds within the first ten seconds based on their initial impressions and that many simply drive on by if the property lacks 'kerb appeal.'
The driveway leading to Barnaby's property from the street is looking rather tired and uninviting following the wear and tear caused during the building of a new house next door.  What was once a smoothly surfaced entrance has been dug up several times to lay new gas and water pipes and damaged by the heavy construction vehicles that have been delivering and manoeuvring to and from the building site during the past year.  Even Barnaby can see that it doesn't present the most attractive welcome to visitors.
The same is true of book covers.  Many otherwise excellent books are dismissed by the casual browser based on a dull or inappropriate cover.
The good news about Barnaby's drive is that it is to be resurfaced tomorrow, which will present his house in the best possible way to the world.
As for the book covers, you can judge for yourselves by visiting where all Barnaby's book covers can be viewed in full colour.  Of course you'll only really be able to judge the books if you take a look inside.  Luckily this is easy and FREE if you follow the links, and if you like what you see, then you can download the whole book in the ebook format of your choice.

Thursday 3 May 2012

The Well Boiled Icycle

Barnaby has published another ebook collection of 'quirky' verse on Smashwords. 
The Well Boiled Icycle contains 35 new poems considering such topics as Wooden Saucepans, Gingerbread Men, the Unfortunate Death of a Vicar, and Clockwork Wellingtons; pausing along the way to wonder if Goldfish get bored swimming round in circles and whether Automobiles have feelings?
There are also mentions for Boudica, King Cheops and Unicorns, but absolutely no mention of elephants or rhinocerus.
If you've ever wondered about a Camel with Three Humps, then this could be the book for you.
You can download this ebook FREE at The Well Boiled Icycle in the format suitable for your ereading device (or PC/Mac).
If you enjoy reading this new collection of verse, why not leave a review to tell others about it. (Use the link above to leave a review).
You can find out more about other ebooks published by Barnaby Wilde by visiting

Monday 30 April 2012

The Wrong Sort of Rain

We are apparently in the middle of a drought due to the low rainfall experienced over the past two years, which has failed to replenish the underground aquifers to their normal levels.  In an effort to correct this situation, the God of Small Things has arranged for two years rain to fall in one week, or so it feels to Barnaby and millions of others.  Our local rivers and streams are now swollen torrents, the like of which Barnaby hasn't seen for many a year.  There is extensive local flooding and no let up in sight.  Coupled with very high winds, which have brought down trees and branches everywhere, it has been extremely unpleasant venturing outside at all (though the dog doesn't seem to mind it and rushes about just as enthusiastically in the wet as the dry).
Unfortunately, despite April being the wettest on record since 1910, we are informed by those who know that it's the wrong sort of rain, which is simply running off dried out soils and not soaking in as needed to restore the underground supplies. 'They' tell us that what we need is months of soft, gentle rain, not the torrents we are currently experiencing.
In Barnaby's opinion, what we need is months of nice warm sunshine.
Of course you could just curl up in front of a nice warm fire with a hot drink and amuse yourself by reading one of Barnaby's ebooks until the weather brightens up.  You'll find the details at

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Barnaby is still searching.

It has been said that moving house ranks with bereavement or divorce in terms of stress.  Barnaby has experienced all three in his lifetime, and while he doesn't feel especially stressed at the moment he can confirm that searching for a new home is certainly time consuming.  Scouring the press and internet and many many house viewings seems to take an interminable amount of time and leaves little time for writing, or anything else for that matter.  We are still awaiting the eureka moment.

It has also been said that the best time to view a prospective house purchase is when the weather is bad. Everywhere looks good in the sun. Barnaby can certainly vouch that the weather has been extremely wet during most of his recent house viewings.

Fortunately Barnaby has made it very easy to find his ebooks simply by visiting which will brighten up even the dullest day and can be done from the comfort of your own home. Best of all, some of the ebooks are still available 'FREE'.

Wednesday 18 April 2012

Barnaby gets overcharged

Barnaby and Mrs W. have just spent a very pleasant week in the Eastern Algarve area of Portugal despite some very cold winds. We rented a very comfortable apartment just outside Tavira, about 30km east of Faro and did much reading, people watching and a little walking. On the whole the Portugese experience was very positive and we shall undoubtedly go back there again.
The only glitch in the operation was a moronic toll system which has been introduced onto the A22 motorway. There are no toll booths or ticket machines or even signs to indicate the toll charges, instead your vehicle is mysteriously photographed at some point in it's journey and then the driver is required to attend a main post office no sooner than 48 hours and no later than 5 days after making his journey to pay the toll.
Barnaby had to queue for over an hour in a badly organised and inefficient post office in Tavira in order to pay what should have been about 3 euro in charges.  In the event he was charged 9 euros because the previous hire car user had not paid his tolls and there appears to be no system to prove who was using the car.  Needless to say this did not improve the holiday experience.
Barnaby is pleased to tell you that there will never be any bad surprises over the pricing of his e-books. What you see is what you will pay and will always be good value, and some of the books will always be available for FREE download.  Why not visit and check for yourself?

Saturday 7 April 2012

The Trouble with Thorndyke

'The Trouble with Thorndyke', a short novel co-written by five independent authors has been published on Smashwords.  You can read a sample or download a copy for your e-reader here

'Writer's Block' is a group of writers who have decided to write stories together - just for the fun of it.
Each writes a chapter following the story's thread.

The authors of this first effort 'The Trouble with Thorndyke' are: Anna Scott Graham, Barnaby Wilde, Gary Weston, Jeffra Hays & Suzy Stewart Dubot. Any future works may include other authors within our Writers Block!

It has been agreed amongst us that proceeds will go to an animal protection charity starting with Sea Shepherd.

Just what is the trouble with Thorndyke? He doesn't even know himself but he's in it neck deep! Why not check it out and if you like it, check out other works by the authors, all of whom can be found at

Monday 2 April 2012

Barnaby gets an offer he can't refuse

Barnaby has accepted an offer on his house, so it looks as though he (and Mrs Barnaby) will be moving out sometime soon.  Unfortunately they have no idea where they will be moving to, so it looks like a few frantic weeks searching for a new home.  Fortunately both of them have plenty of experience of moving home, so they are choosing to regard it as the start of a new adventure, rather than a life threatening event.
Another adventure, 'The Trouble with Thorndyke' (the story being jointly written by five authors. See earlier posts for details) is now completed five times over.  Whilst each author has written individual chapters throughout the story, every one of the five has written a final chapter.  It remains to be seen whether the book will be published with the most popular ending or with all five alternative endings so that the reader can choose the ending they prefer. Details about the publication date will be included in a future post, but you can find out about ebooks which are available now by visiting

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Barnaby catches up with the news

Anyone following this blog who might have been worried about the state of Barnaby's drains following the previous post, can now sleep soundly. Following an extensive rodding and cleaning operation at the weekend everything is now flowing fast and smelling sweet.

Alas, the same improvement cannot yet be seen in Barnaby's juggling.  The previous best high score has yet to be matched or beaten. However, following the dictum that practice makes perfect, Barnaby is continuing to practice every day, though he is more optimistic of making it as an author than a juggler, it has to be said.

The weather has been so good this week that the spring flowers outside Barnaby's office window are probably now just about at their best.  A mixture of blue muscari, yellow daffodils and, well, primrose primroses. Temperatures are eight to ten degrees above normal for this time of year.

The new book which is being co-written by five independent authors is nearing completion.  The title is probably going to be 'The Trouble With Thorndyke'.  It will be published as an ebook with any profits going to charity. Details will be posted in this blog when the book is published.  Meanwhile Barnaby's books are, of course, still available via Amazon or Smashwords.  Visit for more information.

Friday 23 March 2012

Barnaby jumps in at the deep end

Today there is blue sky and full sunshine.  It feels more like summer than winter and the garden is blooming with spring flowers.

Unfortunately, Barnaby has discovered that his sewer pipe is blocked and the inspection pit is full to the top with dirty water.  So he has spent a couple of hours lying on his front over a smelly inspection pit trying to unblock the drain using the only tools he had nearby, namely a hosepipe and his own two hands, whilst at the same time trying not to fall in.  All to no avail.  It appears that tree roots have invaded the drain and it will require heavier duty tools to unblock it.

Of course, Barnaby could simply call a drain clearance specialist, sit back and write a cheque. Job done, but he would no more admit defeat at this early stage than he would pay a ghost writer to compose his poems.  Next step - buy a set of drain cleaning rods.

Disappointingly Barnaby used to own a set of drain cleaning rods, but lent them to someone (he can't remember who) and they were never returned.

Of course you don't have to return his FREE ebooks.  They are yours to keep and enjoy for ever.  All he asks is that you tell your friends to visit where they will find out all they need to know about Barnaby Wilde.  If you feel that's too easy, then you could always write a review if you enjoyed the books, or download another one.

Sunday 18 March 2012

Barnaby gets involved

It's a cut throat place, the world of independent publishing.  Every author out for himself, desperate for publicity at any price.  Willing to ride rough shod over any other author in order to get attention.

Except that isn't like that at all. One of Barnaby's happy discoveries is that there is a worldwide community of would be authors out there eager to communicate and share with each other with just as much enthusiasm as they have for communicating with their hoped for readers.

Whether that is reading and reviewing another author's book, helping with a formatting problem, or sharing ways to improve publicity, there are a lot of passionate people out there keen to help one another.

And now Barnaby has joined with the other authors who are promoting their works under the banner of Suzybazaar (see previous post) to write a cooperative novella.  The process is for each chapter to be written by a different author who is free to take the story in whichever direction he or she wishes, provided continuity is maintained, writing in the author's own style.  The result is a lot of fun for the authors, an unpredictable storyline and, it's hoped, a book that will eventually be published to raise money for charity.

Barnaby can't tell you when the book will be finished because it is still being written.  He can promise that it will make you smile and maybe laugh out loud, but there may also be pathos, romance, violence, mystery?  Who knows?  It's still evolving.

Keep reading the blog for updates on progress.

Wednesday 14 March 2012

Barnaby wonders why?

Reading the author's bulletin boards at Amazon and elsewhere, it is apparent that some authors number the downloads of their ebooks in the thousands, some in the hundreds and the majority in the ones. Barnaby can't help wondering what it is that prompts readers to download a book by an unknown author.

Genre is obviously important.  Some folks will never read Science Fiction, for example, while others may seek out only Humour.  Quality of writing ought to be high up amongst the reasons, but Barnaby isn't entirely convinced that this is as much of a number driver as one might think.  Certainly there are many fine writers out there who have yet to be discovered.  Many of them better writers than some of the most downloaded.  Price will be a feature.  Many people will never pay for an ebook, believing that all internet content should be FREE.  There is a huge volume of work in ebooks which is FREE, but even among the FREE body of work there is a huge difference between the numbers downloaded for one author compared to another.

Reviews are an important driver, especially 4 and 5 star reviews, which is one reason why all authors crave good reviews.  (The other, of course, is that they just want the reassurance that their work has pleased somebody.  In fact, most authors probably value the reward of a good review far more than the monetary reward, if indeed there is one).

The biggest driver, though, is always going to be publicity.  Advertising, if you like.  And the best advertising is the 'word of mouth' recommendations from people who have read and enjoyed a particular ebook.  It is reported by many successful independent authors that the biggest driver of sales or downloads for them is the ubiquitous Facebook and Twitter.

Barnaby is a bit old fashioned in this respect and much as he would like you to click on the Facebook button on his website he'd be even happier if you just told your friends how much you'd enjoyed one of his books.  And, of course, if you could post a review as well, it would make his day.  Go on, you know you want to.

Saturday 10 March 2012

Unexpected Consequences

One of the unexpected and pleasant consequences of publishing ebooks is to make the acquaintance of other ebook authors.  Barnaby has exchanged messages with authors from as far afield as New Zealand, America and also nearer to home in France and the UK.  He has also had ebook sales in Germany and Spain.

He has been invited to join a group of Independent Authors who are promoting their books via a website operated by Suzy Stewart Dubot, who writes mainly Regency period novels.  The other authors cover a wide range of genres including science fiction, humour, poetry, and literary novels.  Many of the works featured are available for FREE download and you can check out the website and all the recommended authors by clicking on the following link.

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Barnaby blows his own cover

Barnaby has decided to put up a new cover for his book 'A Question of Alignment'.  The previous cover, whilst relevant to the story, was a little dull.  The new cover picture is based on an image by  the photographer Tambako, who has generously made this image Public Domain.

You may of course be wondering how a set of cellar stairs, a pile of lottery balls, talking cats and an orangutan could possibly be related (and we haven't even mentioned a small white lacy thong or interdimensional travel), but in Tom Fletcher's world anything is possible.

If you want to find out more, you'll just have to take a look at the book.  You can see a FREE sample at Smashwords in the ebook format of your choice by clicking on the link. 'A Question of Alignment'

Despite the colourful new cover, there is no increase in price and of course the 'FREE' titles are also still there to explore.

Saturday 3 March 2012

Barnaby goes a little wild (for one week only).

March 4th to March 10th is 'Read an e-book week' at Smashwords with many authors offering substantial discounts on their books for one week only.  Not wishing to be left behind, Barnaby has discounted his two novels 'A Question of Alignment' and 'I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday' by 50% for the week.  This means that both books are available for the astonishingly low price of 99c each (about 62 pence) or the amazing bargain price of $1.98 for two.

Most of Barnaby's books are available 'FREE' and much as he would like to discount them further he is sadly unable to oblige.

To obtain the 50% discount  for either 'A Question of Alignment' or 'I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday' click on the following link 50% discount on Barnaby Wilde, select the book you wish to download and enter the coupon code  REW50 at the appropriate point in the transaction.

Barnaby hopes you will enjoy his books and, if you do, perhaps you would like to leave him a review. (For details of how to leave a review see earlier posts)

Happy reading.

Thursday 1 March 2012

Barnaby wonders how much 'FREE' is worth

It is ironic that folk seem to place a higher value on something that they've paid for than if that same item were 'FREE'.  Many independent authors give away some or all of their work 'FREE' in order to publicise their writing.  Most do not expect to become rich or famous, (though we can all dream), but hope that some if not all of their readers will enjoy reading what they have spent many hours, days, weeks, sometimes years, writing.  Being able to publish e-books via a platform such as Smashwords or Amazon has given hundreds of aspiring writers the opportunity, hitherto denied them, to present their work to a wider audience and many will give away their books, or some of them, 'FREE' in order to be recognised.
Initially it is gratifying simply to see one's work published at all.  Seeing the 'FREE' downloads accumulate is the second small gratification.  What the author really wants, though, is feedback.
Feedback for an author normally means Reviews.
Now it is a strange fact that people who download books for 'FREE' are much less likely to do the author the courtesy of posting a Review than those who have paid for the book.  Reviews reward the good author with positive feedback and inform if there are things that can be improved.  They also help other readers judge whether a book is likely to be of interest to them.  Of course we all want to have good reviews, and there is never a reason to post a destructive or insulting review, but all honest, constructive reviews are welcomed.
So, Barnaby's thought for the day is 'Posting reviews of an e-book you have just read is easy.'  Just go to the place that you downloaded the book from and you will find a button marked Review.  The rest is up to you. 
Happy posting!

Friday 24 February 2012

Barnaby gets carried away

My local supermarket is awash with special offers, discounts, money off vouchers and 'free' extras - which are only 'free' if you buy the original item.  Barnaby's FREE e - books are, of course, genuinely FREE.  There's not even any obligation to read them, though he'd be disappointed if he thought you hadn't.

Barnaby is particularly intrigued by the supermarket BOGOF (buy one get one free) offers and would like to offer his own, but when you don't even have to buy one to get a FREE one this is giving him some pause for thought. DOFGAOF (download one free get another one free) somehow doesn't have the 'ring' to it that BOGOF has, any more than DAMYLFF (download as many as you like for free).  DAFTFART (download a free title and file a review today) somehow still doesn't have the vibe he's looking for.  He's still working to find the perfect acronym, but in the meantime, download, read, enjoy and then why not download another one?

Monday 20 February 2012

Barnaby loves his Kindle - mostly.

Barnaby is a little like Winnie the Pooh in being a bear of very small brain.  Although he loves his Kindle e-reader he often forgets the title of the current book he's reading, and the author's name.  Unlike a paperback, which constantly reminds one of the book title and author via it's cover, the Kindle opens each time on the current page and shuts down to a random screensaver picture which has no relevance to the book being read.  Of course one can always get back to the cover via the menu options, but it's clunky and requires a certain amount of effort.  A much simpler and more satisfying solution would be for the Kindle to use the cover page from the current book as it's screensaver when shutting down.  This would be a reminder to the reader and an advertisment for the author.  A win win situation. Barnaby has made this suggestion to Amazon with no result to date, but if enough people joined the campaign ... ? You could add your voice by going to

Meanwhile you can enjoy all the lovingly created covers of Barnaby's books by visiting (don't forget the hyphen).

Friday 17 February 2012

Barnaby doubles his score and adds ten

The juggling is coming on slowly.  Today another milestone was reached when Barnaby managed to juggle with three balls and achieved over three hundred and fifty catches without a drop, more than doubling his previous best score.

Whilst still in a small state of euphoria over this modest success, Barnaby decided to celebrate by adding ten further poems to his collection 'Life...', at the same time cunningly renaming it as 'Life...(plus ten)'.

This can be downloaded from as usual in the format of your choice, and the good news doesn't end there.  Despite a 34% increase in the number of poems available there is no increase in price.  Thirty nine poems for just ninety nine cents (about sixty two pence) is just two and a half cents each. 

Now what else can you buy for just two and a half cents?  Enjoy!

Wednesday 15 February 2012

Barnaby has an early spring break

The daffodils and snowdrops have been in flower this week and from my office window I can see the first of the blue muscari grape hyacinth just starting to show, as well as a scattering of primrose flowers. In a week or two the bank will be a solid mass of blue and pale yellow flowers, a sign that Spring is beginning to uh, well, spring.
Unfortunately, Barnaby had an early spring break of a different kind this week.  He was just about to drive away from home when there was a loud bang and the front nearside of his estate car dropped about three inches.  It appears that the helical coil spring on the front nearside suspension had simply snapped in two.  The good news is that it didn't happen at 70mph on the motorway.  The bad news is that the car can't even be driven to the garage for repair, so an engineer will have to come here at the weekend to fix it.
At the moment Barnaby can't even bring himself to write a comic verse about it.  Pleasingly, though, downloads of Barnaby's books from the Smashwords website passed 500 copies yesterday.  Enjoy!

Monday 13 February 2012

Barnaby has a head cold

Sore throat, blocked sinus, running nose, mild headache and a poor night's sleep, yes, Barnaby has a cold. Nothing serious, but it does take the edge off things a little.  Nevertheless he is comforted by the thought that tomorrow is Valentines Day and at this very moment there may be hundreds, if not ones of Valentines cards winging his way.  Mrs W got hers a day early because of a slight miscalculation by Barnaby over the posting, but better that way than a day late (and it did get a very good reaction).

The title of the next compilation of verse will probably be 'The Well Boiled Icycle', though it is not expected to be published for a while.  Barnaby is just mulling over titles at present.  Sometimes mulling is all a man needs to do to be happy.

Wednesday 8 February 2012

Barnaby goes to the flicks

We visited the local Picturehouse yesterday evening to see George Clooney in 'The Descendants' in which he plays a Honulu based lawyer.  His wife is in a coma in hospital following a boating accident and he is forced to cope with two wayward daughters. Lingering shots of Hawaiin scenery and a background score of local music. Mrs W enjoyed the film immensely. Barnaby thought it was so so, but it is always good to get out together, so an enjoyable evening was had by both.

'Tunnel Vision', a collection of longer poems by Barnaby Wilde is now available as a FREE download on both the Smashwords platform and Amazon in the 'ebook' format of your choice.  The collection includes 'The Ballad of Wayne and Bill' as well as a trip to Ikea and discussions about Corn Circles and Flying with no hint of Rhinoceros or Elephant.  Just as quirky, with the weak puns you'd expect. Longer verses, but the same quality as usual and a similar width.  You can find out more by going to the website.

Sunday 5 February 2012

Barnaby gets lost in a blizzard

Well, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration.  We did have our first snow of the winter yesterday after a week of sub zero temperatures, but it was only a thin covering and a few hours later it had pretty much disappeared.  Today we have clear blue sky and brilliant sunshine.

It was good to see that people had taken advantage of the 48 hour window to download a FREE copy of the verse collection 'Life... (enhanced) bonus edition' on Amazon.  As expected there were plenty of downloads from and, but more surprisingly there was one download each from and  So, it's 'Hi, Guten Tag and Hola' to everyone who downloaded the book.  I hope you enjoy the poems and, if you do, how about leaving a review?

'Tunnel Vision' to be uploaded within the next 48 hours.  Keep an eye open for it.

Wednesday 1 February 2012

Barnaby goes West

Barnaby and Mrs W have just spent a couple of nights in Cornwall at a small hotel on the coast at the seaside town of Looe.  A lovely position looking across the harbour, beach and town.  We pottered along the coast to Polperro and Polruan, and then took the ferry across to Fowey for afternoon tea and a spot of shopping.
It''s all very quaint, but it was pretty cold out and about and we drove through snow on our way home this morning. Parking, even in the depths of winter, was in short supply and expensive. Welcome to Cornwall.

During 1st and 2nd February an expanded edition of poems 'Life... (enhanced) bonus edition' is available for FREE download from Amazon.  This contains the original contents of 'Life...' plus nineteen additional poems.  After 2nd February the FREE edition will no longer be available, but the original version will still be available for purchase from the Smashwords website and the expanded version available for purchase exclusively from Amazon.

Sunday 29 January 2012

Barnaby talks about book reviews

 How do you review a book in Smashwords?
If you would like to review a book that you have downloaded from Smashwords (this can be a Free download or a purchased title) simply visit the page for the given title, and below the table of different available file formats you will see a link to review the book.  If the book was Free, anyone except the author is eligible to review it.  If the book requires purchase, the review link is only available to people who purchased it.  The author is never eligible to review his/her own book.  If the author visits their own book page the review option doesn't appear.

Reviews are helpful to the author and to other readers.  Reviews should always be civil, honest and constructive. Tell the reader what was good, and, if appropriate, what was bad about the book.  Don't give away the ending and don't simply retell the author's story.  Offensive or defamatory reviews are likely to be deleted by Smashwords under their terms of service.

How to review a book at Amazon

Visit the book page on Amazon and you will find a review link next to the cover image of the book. The same etiquette towards the review content applies as for Smashwords reviews.

Saturday 28 January 2012

Barnaby gets extended

An extended version of the 'Life...' verse anthology has been published exclusively on Amazon.  This collection contains an additional nineteen poems that were not included in the first version and is entitled 'Life... (enhanced) bonus edition'.  You can download a copy directly onto your Kindle from the Kindle store or download a copy onto your computer or reading device by visiting

(Life... (enhanced) bonus edition) is a collection of verse taking a sideways view of life from birth to death and points between.
How do you know if you are middle aged? Why are there so many bottles in your bathroom? Where exactly is that safe place where all your mislaid possessions are stored? Answers to these and many other of life's mysteries may be found here.
...and where exactly do socks go when they die?

New poems consider Elvis in retirement, Moving House and Strange noises in the night, amongst others.

Wednesday 25 January 2012

A Little Bit Elephant

'A Little Bit Elephant' is now available as a FREE download via this link in various formats to suit your 'e' reading device. 

A collection of unrelated verse packed with puns weak jokes and other strange stuff, including Carpets, Cabbages, Metaphysical Geography, Donuts, Kitchen Appliances, Centaurs and much much more, with just a little bit of elephant.

Go on, you know you want to ...               

Sunday 22 January 2012

Barnaby takes a walk and flies again

Took a very pleasant walk on Exmouth beach this afternoon with the dog.  The sun was shining and it was mild if windy.  The views across the estuary were terrific.  The dog was in his element, chasing sticks and stones into the sea.  A nice way to spend a winter Sunday afternoon.

The website has been updated at last. (remember the hyphen).  It was 'off air' for a while due to technical difficulties.  (Basically I couldn't work out how to upload the new improved version, but with a bit of trial and error we got there in the end).

Keep an eye open for the next book of verse 'A Little Bit Elephant', which should be uploaded this week.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Barnaby's flyouts have stopped working and he offers another freebie

I'm just putting the finishing touches to an updated version of the Barnaby Wilde website, but I've hit a problem with the website designer program.  One of the toolbars has stopped working properly, so I'm a bit stumped.  Questions have been raised in appropriate places and I hope for a remedy in the near future.
Meanwhile, assembly of the next compilation of Barnaby Wilde verse (I can't bring myself to call them poems) is almost complete and should be published soon. The title is 'A little bit elephant', but as usual it has very little to do with elephants and is another mix of quirky verse.
Barnaby is a little curious (some may think this an understatement) about whether anyone reads this blog, so he is offering a small incentive.  If you email to he will send you a code which will enable you to download a free copy of the verse compilation 'Life...', which will save you 99c (about 65p).  Not a lot, but as that well known supermarket says, 'every little helps'.

Thursday 12 January 2012

Barnaby gets a good feeling

Barnaby is feeling good today and is celebrating by increasing the sample size which can be viewed for Free on his two novels, 'I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday' and 'A Question of Alignment'.  You can download the Free (yes, that's Free!) samples in the format of your choice from  as well as Free copies of his books of verse - 'Animalia', 'Not at all Rhinocerus' and 'The Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things'.

Of course, if you like what you read, you can also purchase the full copies of the novels at the same address.

Sometimes it just feels good to go on giving.

Tuesday 10 January 2012

Barnaby gets a bad feeling

My neighbour was standing outside my front door this morning.  'Feel that,' he said, so I did. 'That's felt,' he said, and he was right.  It was felt.  Bitumenised roofing felt.  'It's off your garden shed,' he said, and he was right again.  'Must have been blown off in last week's gales,' he added.  'Must have,' I said.

So, three hours later, hot, grouchy and tired I now have a repaired roof on the shed.  Fortunately I had a spare roll of roofing felt already and enough galvanised nails to finish the job.  Sometimes it comes in handy being a hoarder.

Barnaby, of course, lost his thatch years ago (as you'll see from the blog photo) but he was reminded, whilst he was up on the shed roof of that old truism.  'There may be snow on the roof, but there's still a fire in the cellar.'

The weather continues to be unseasonably warm for January.

Saturday 7 January 2012

Barnaby hits one hundred and fifty and gets five stars

The juggling is coming on.  Today I managed to throw the balls one hundred and fifty times before dropping any.  A new high.  Still a way to go before I start my new career in the circus.

Not at all rhinocerus (yes, we know all about the spelling.  It's intentional) received it's first review today.  Five stars.  I'm delighted that one person at least enjoyed the verses.

Visit for more information

Thursday 5 January 2012

January Sales - New Free Books

Two new collections of poems by Barnaby Wilde have been published today on the Smashwords website.  Both books are available for free download in the format of your choice for reading on PC, Mac, iPad, Kindle etc

'Not at all Rhinocerus'  is a collection of quirky verse which is not at all rhinoceros. (Well, maybe just a little bit, at the end). A miscellany of verses full of weak puns, old jokes and a sense of the ridiculous, including 'A pyschiatrist's guide to empathetic garden design', 'Two flies walking on a bald man's head', and 'Acupuncture is a jab well done' amongst others.

And absolutely no mention of rhinoceros (OK. Except for a very little bit at the end).

'The Blind Philosopher and The God of Small Things' is a collection of verse full of weak puns and jokes, loosely related by two men with long white beards, including 'Simply Saving Silences', 'Just another Day in Paradise', and 'Twenty Things Worth Knowing, including some that aren't', pausing along the way to consider 'Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?'  'What was best before sliced bread?' and 'Could I dig half a hole instead?'

These titles will also be available in due course via the Amazon website.

Monday 2 January 2012

Barnaby has a wet and windy one

The New Year came in wet and windy, but we put on our stout shoes and waterproofs and took the dog down to the beach anyway.  We declined the bracing winter dip in the sea, but the dog had no such reservations and got happily soaked.  Despite the rain, the temperature was very mild for January.

The next compilation of poems is almost complete and ready for uploading. Look out for the Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things coming soon.

Happy New Year everyone from Barnaby and friends.