Sunday 29 January 2012

Barnaby talks about book reviews

 How do you review a book in Smashwords?
If you would like to review a book that you have downloaded from Smashwords (this can be a Free download or a purchased title) simply visit the page for the given title, and below the table of different available file formats you will see a link to review the book.  If the book was Free, anyone except the author is eligible to review it.  If the book requires purchase, the review link is only available to people who purchased it.  The author is never eligible to review his/her own book.  If the author visits their own book page the review option doesn't appear.

Reviews are helpful to the author and to other readers.  Reviews should always be civil, honest and constructive. Tell the reader what was good, and, if appropriate, what was bad about the book.  Don't give away the ending and don't simply retell the author's story.  Offensive or defamatory reviews are likely to be deleted by Smashwords under their terms of service.

How to review a book at Amazon

Visit the book page on Amazon and you will find a review link next to the cover image of the book. The same etiquette towards the review content applies as for Smashwords reviews.

Saturday 28 January 2012

Barnaby gets extended

An extended version of the 'Life...' verse anthology has been published exclusively on Amazon.  This collection contains an additional nineteen poems that were not included in the first version and is entitled 'Life... (enhanced) bonus edition'.  You can download a copy directly onto your Kindle from the Kindle store or download a copy onto your computer or reading device by visiting

(Life... (enhanced) bonus edition) is a collection of verse taking a sideways view of life from birth to death and points between.
How do you know if you are middle aged? Why are there so many bottles in your bathroom? Where exactly is that safe place where all your mislaid possessions are stored? Answers to these and many other of life's mysteries may be found here.
...and where exactly do socks go when they die?

New poems consider Elvis in retirement, Moving House and Strange noises in the night, amongst others.

Wednesday 25 January 2012

A Little Bit Elephant

'A Little Bit Elephant' is now available as a FREE download via this link in various formats to suit your 'e' reading device. 

A collection of unrelated verse packed with puns weak jokes and other strange stuff, including Carpets, Cabbages, Metaphysical Geography, Donuts, Kitchen Appliances, Centaurs and much much more, with just a little bit of elephant.

Go on, you know you want to ...               

Sunday 22 January 2012

Barnaby takes a walk and flies again

Took a very pleasant walk on Exmouth beach this afternoon with the dog.  The sun was shining and it was mild if windy.  The views across the estuary were terrific.  The dog was in his element, chasing sticks and stones into the sea.  A nice way to spend a winter Sunday afternoon.

The website has been updated at last. (remember the hyphen).  It was 'off air' for a while due to technical difficulties.  (Basically I couldn't work out how to upload the new improved version, but with a bit of trial and error we got there in the end).

Keep an eye open for the next book of verse 'A Little Bit Elephant', which should be uploaded this week.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Barnaby's flyouts have stopped working and he offers another freebie

I'm just putting the finishing touches to an updated version of the Barnaby Wilde website, but I've hit a problem with the website designer program.  One of the toolbars has stopped working properly, so I'm a bit stumped.  Questions have been raised in appropriate places and I hope for a remedy in the near future.
Meanwhile, assembly of the next compilation of Barnaby Wilde verse (I can't bring myself to call them poems) is almost complete and should be published soon. The title is 'A little bit elephant', but as usual it has very little to do with elephants and is another mix of quirky verse.
Barnaby is a little curious (some may think this an understatement) about whether anyone reads this blog, so he is offering a small incentive.  If you email to he will send you a code which will enable you to download a free copy of the verse compilation 'Life...', which will save you 99c (about 65p).  Not a lot, but as that well known supermarket says, 'every little helps'.

Thursday 12 January 2012

Barnaby gets a good feeling

Barnaby is feeling good today and is celebrating by increasing the sample size which can be viewed for Free on his two novels, 'I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday' and 'A Question of Alignment'.  You can download the Free (yes, that's Free!) samples in the format of your choice from  as well as Free copies of his books of verse - 'Animalia', 'Not at all Rhinocerus' and 'The Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things'.

Of course, if you like what you read, you can also purchase the full copies of the novels at the same address.

Sometimes it just feels good to go on giving.

Tuesday 10 January 2012

Barnaby gets a bad feeling

My neighbour was standing outside my front door this morning.  'Feel that,' he said, so I did. 'That's felt,' he said, and he was right.  It was felt.  Bitumenised roofing felt.  'It's off your garden shed,' he said, and he was right again.  'Must have been blown off in last week's gales,' he added.  'Must have,' I said.

So, three hours later, hot, grouchy and tired I now have a repaired roof on the shed.  Fortunately I had a spare roll of roofing felt already and enough galvanised nails to finish the job.  Sometimes it comes in handy being a hoarder.

Barnaby, of course, lost his thatch years ago (as you'll see from the blog photo) but he was reminded, whilst he was up on the shed roof of that old truism.  'There may be snow on the roof, but there's still a fire in the cellar.'

The weather continues to be unseasonably warm for January.

Saturday 7 January 2012

Barnaby hits one hundred and fifty and gets five stars

The juggling is coming on.  Today I managed to throw the balls one hundred and fifty times before dropping any.  A new high.  Still a way to go before I start my new career in the circus.

Not at all rhinocerus (yes, we know all about the spelling.  It's intentional) received it's first review today.  Five stars.  I'm delighted that one person at least enjoyed the verses.

Visit for more information

Thursday 5 January 2012

January Sales - New Free Books

Two new collections of poems by Barnaby Wilde have been published today on the Smashwords website.  Both books are available for free download in the format of your choice for reading on PC, Mac, iPad, Kindle etc

'Not at all Rhinocerus'  is a collection of quirky verse which is not at all rhinoceros. (Well, maybe just a little bit, at the end). A miscellany of verses full of weak puns, old jokes and a sense of the ridiculous, including 'A pyschiatrist's guide to empathetic garden design', 'Two flies walking on a bald man's head', and 'Acupuncture is a jab well done' amongst others.

And absolutely no mention of rhinoceros (OK. Except for a very little bit at the end).

'The Blind Philosopher and The God of Small Things' is a collection of verse full of weak puns and jokes, loosely related by two men with long white beards, including 'Simply Saving Silences', 'Just another Day in Paradise', and 'Twenty Things Worth Knowing, including some that aren't', pausing along the way to consider 'Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?'  'What was best before sliced bread?' and 'Could I dig half a hole instead?'

These titles will also be available in due course via the Amazon website.

Monday 2 January 2012

Barnaby has a wet and windy one

The New Year came in wet and windy, but we put on our stout shoes and waterproofs and took the dog down to the beach anyway.  We declined the bracing winter dip in the sea, but the dog had no such reservations and got happily soaked.  Despite the rain, the temperature was very mild for January.

The next compilation of poems is almost complete and ready for uploading. Look out for the Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things coming soon.

Happy New Year everyone from Barnaby and friends.