Once upon a time, Barnaby had a full head of hair. Like anyone else, he took it for granted. Washed it, combed it, moaned about it when it needed cutting and mostly forgot about it. It's clear from his profile photo, though, that this was some time ago. Although this may be seen by some as a disadvantage, Barnaby has been pondering the potential advantages to the world that might arise if everyone was bald.
Reduced pollution from shampoos and conditioners. Reduced heating costs from shorter shower times. Reduced power requirement and capital expenditure saving from non usage of hairdryers. Cost saving from not having to visit hairdresser. Time saving from not having to groom each day. All in all, there seem to be significant advantages.
There is a downside, of course. Loss of revenue for shampoo and hairdryer manufacturers. Unemployment for hairdressers (though perhaps they could retrain as tattoo artists, since there will now be more exposed skin to decorate?) Possible requirement to purchase more hats.
Barnaby has to acknowledge that there are a couple of potential benefits of having hair that are not necessarily obvious to those who are thus adorned. Rather like a cat's whiskers, hair can give an early warning of impending collision with low obstacles, such as lintels. Failing that, it does offer some protection in the event of impact.
It has to be said, however, that Barnaby has not found it particularly a disadvantage to lose his hair, (though some think it makes him look older)
At a personal level, Barnaby has discovered one advantage of being uncovered on top. He is always the first to notice that it has begun to rain.
He would also like to remind people, that while there may, or may not be, snow on the roof, there is still a fire in the cellar.
You can find more about Barnaby and his books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Wednesday, 3 December 2014
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Barnaby's Shorts (#9) New title
Barnaby's Shorts, volume 9, is now available as a Kindle ebook from Amazon or in all ebook formats from Smashwords
Ten more tales which are just the right length to read in your tea break, with your morning coffee, in the bath, on the beach, or on the train.
Emily finally finds a real man in 'The Problem with Beans', The Poacher's Inn quiz team discuss the finer points of cycling in 'The Dandy Horse' and there is another tale from the Vertigo labs in 'Whichcraft'.
What happens when visitors outstay their welcome? What exactly are the Runes in Davey's Field? Can you define your life in a single word? Answers to these questions and more in Barnaby's Shorts (volume 9)
Humour, mystery, sci fi, romance and more in this new collection.
You can find out more about this book and all Barnaby's other works by visiting his website at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk and follow Barnaby on twitter @barnaby_wilde
Friday, 3 October 2014
The Craft - a new title from twb
Those folk at twb (Top Writers Block) have been at it again. This month's anthology of short stories inspired by the theme 'The Craft' is available for download in the ebook format of your choice here.
The Craft covers every manner of crafts - arts and crafts, witchcraft, space craft and others. Whatever the story, there is often a surprise at the end, so relax for a while and read this collection of short stories by TWB. Take the time to decide which you liked best. The authors' proceeds go to Sea Shepherd, who have dedicated themselves to protecting our oceans and seas and the life within.
This month's stories include a tale from the Vertigo labs by Barnaby Wilde, a story about the reason for film classifications from Suzy Dubot, a tale about the art of glass making (or is it a love story?) by Don Bick, a lyrical piece from Tracey Howard on the art of wood carving, Two stories from New Zealand writer John Muir, a mysterious film script from Melissa Szydlek and more. A mixed and surprisingly varied bunch of stories inspired by a single theme.
If you enjoy the variety of stories in The Craft why not check out the other titles released by twb or visit the individual authors book lists.
The Craft covers every manner of crafts - arts and crafts, witchcraft, space craft and others. Whatever the story, there is often a surprise at the end, so relax for a while and read this collection of short stories by TWB. Take the time to decide which you liked best. The authors' proceeds go to Sea Shepherd, who have dedicated themselves to protecting our oceans and seas and the life within.
This month's stories include a tale from the Vertigo labs by Barnaby Wilde, a story about the reason for film classifications from Suzy Dubot, a tale about the art of glass making (or is it a love story?) by Don Bick, a lyrical piece from Tracey Howard on the art of wood carving, Two stories from New Zealand writer John Muir, a mysterious film script from Melissa Szydlek and more. A mixed and surprisingly varied bunch of stories inspired by a single theme.
If you enjoy the variety of stories in The Craft why not check out the other titles released by twb or visit the individual authors book lists.
About Top Writers Block
A group of writers from around the world who have decided to write stories together - just for the fun of it!
I am happy to announce that authors proceeds have now gone to Sea Shepherd.fr twice! Thank you to those who have supported the group.
Of course, you can find all Barnaby's Books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk as usual.
I am happy to announce that authors proceeds have now gone to Sea Shepherd.fr twice! Thank you to those who have supported the group.
Of course, you can find all Barnaby's Books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk as usual.
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
The Surprising Importance of Doing Nothing
The following item by Robin LaFevers is repeated here for those who may not have seen the original article.
***
Pop quiz! Studies have shown that creative people are known to:
A) Daydream. A lot.
B) They lose track of time.
C) Have wandering minds.
D) Stare at the wall. A lot.
E) All of the above
If you picked E, you are correct! Successful creatives spend much of their time so deeply immersed in their own internal worlds that, in the eyes of the world, it often appears that they’re doing nothing.
But of course, we know how very untrue that is. Our minds are busy working. Synapses are sparking, neural pathways firing, different corners of our brains coming together, making connections, leaping around seemingly unrelated topics, playing with ‘what if’ possibilities all the time.
The act of thinking used to be a respected one. It was understood that in order to have well-formed ideas and opinions—or even just make good decisions—we had to think about things. But that process doesn’t seem to be held in as much regard anymore. In our productivity-enamored, technology-driven, instantaneous response world, the act of thinking is often considered, at best—quaint, and at its least flattering, an indication of a slow mind. We’re expected to make snap decisions, instantaneous judgments (with or without all the facts, no less!) have ideas gush forth in brainstorming meetings or large, communal bull pit type offices. Then, once the idea has been decided upon, we’re expected to produce, produce, produce non stop in a straight, continuous line until a project is finished. Frankly, I’m exhausted simply writing that paragraph.
So what if your brain doesn’t work that way? Well, now you can take heart in the knowledge that many creative peoples’ don’t and in fact, if your brain doesn’t function that way, perhaps it is due to its creative nature.
For some writers, it takes time to peel off layers of ourselves and weave them into our work. It takes time to observe and study human nature, collecting and appropriating mannerisms, emotional dynamics, and dramas, and then incorporate them into our stories.
This is absolutely not to say that writers or other creatives who are prolific are not creative; creativity comes in many different flavors, sizes, and speeds. But in a world where output, production, and speed are the gold standard, it’s important to remind ourselves that fast doesn’t always mean better. For some people, speed gets in the way of producing their richest, deepest, most creative work.
Even that bastion of productivity, Stephen King, has confessed to having periods of apparent idleness interspersed with frantic bursts of impassioned writing.
Note the word apparent. I’m guessing he couldn’t have one without the other. In fact, those fallow periods are what lead to the frantic production.
I’ve always loved that word fallow. The idea of letting the land lie dormant for a season in order to restore its fertility. But there are lots of terms that work: percolating, stewing, fermenting, gestating. All of the processes take a set of original ingredients and, through the simple alchemy of time, turn them into something more than the sum of their parts. So often we forget that time itself is an essential ingredient to creativity.
Our brain—our subconscious—is doing all sorts of things, even when our conscious mind does not appear to be engaged.
One of my favorite parts of the creative process is discovering the trail of breadcrumbs my subconscious has left me. Those are the bits we put in a story–maybe a line that doesn’t quite make sense at the time–that feel as if they need to be there, so we leave them in. Or a character that comes out of left field, or a plot thread that we hadn’t planned and—-worse!—-we’re not sure where it’s going. But listening to our gut, we leave it in for now, assuring ourselves we can cut it later. Only it turns out, later, when we go back, we see that those bits are absolutely essential to the deeper meaning of our story, or bring a whole new layer of subtext and meaning to the characters’ actions, or allow for a deeper resonance.
That’s our subconscious at work, making the connections and building the links that we didn’t even realize would be the most critical parts of our story. And sometimes, oftentimes, that really can’t be rushed without sacrificing depth or quality.
I also suspect that, early in our writing journeys, the stories just gush out. We have such a backload of stories we want to tell, of things we want to say, and they burst out of us fast and glorious, like a geyser. But eventually, that initial flow slows and we become more intentional and discriminating in what stories we choose to spend our creative capital on.
I want to be clear that fallow periods and daydreaming aren’t about waiting around for the muse to show up or waiting on inspiration. This is about giving ideas the time they need to fully develop. It’s about staring at the wall and thinking about the story, thinking about the characters and the themes and the deeper meanings behind it all rather than getting words on a page to meet a daily goal. Maybe that means doing a lot of pre writing or story journaling, or writing a bazillion drafts. Whatever method works for allowing you the time you need to fully develop your ideas and let them ripen and mature. And sometimes, to the rest of the world, it can look a lot like simply doing nothing. So maybe instead of feeling pressured to hit the keyboard or pick up that pencil before you’re ready, give yourself permission to stare at the damned wall.
The thing is, there are so many reasons to rush: to finally hook an agent, to get published, to generate enough income to quit your day job or pay off your student loans, or to produce a book a year so that the reading public doesn’t forget you.
But it’s important to keep in mind that there are many writers for whom the announcement of a new book is an event. Donna Tartt, Michel Faber, Meghan Whalen Turner, Patrick Rothfuss, and George R. R. Martin to name a few. The world will happily wait the required time it takes them, because they know that the payoff will be great. They know that the book will be rich and layered and nuanced and full.
So maybe instead of frantically meeting your daily word goal or making sure you spend three hours each day with your butt planted in the writing chair, allow yourself to go forth and do nothing—proudly. It just might be the best thing you can possibly do for your story.
Robin LaFevers on Sep 12 2014
Barnaby is delighted to discover that his daydreaming, wandering mind and wall staring are all part of his creative process and not abnormal behaviour at all. The fruits of this subconscious creative labouring can be found at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk ... Now for a bit more navel gazing.
A) Daydream. A lot.
B) They lose track of time.
C) Have wandering minds.
D) Stare at the wall. A lot.
E) All of the above
If you picked E, you are correct! Successful creatives spend much of their time so deeply immersed in their own internal worlds that, in the eyes of the world, it often appears that they’re doing nothing.
But of course, we know how very untrue that is. Our minds are busy working. Synapses are sparking, neural pathways firing, different corners of our brains coming together, making connections, leaping around seemingly unrelated topics, playing with ‘what if’ possibilities all the time.
The act of thinking used to be a respected one. It was understood that in order to have well-formed ideas and opinions—or even just make good decisions—we had to think about things. But that process doesn’t seem to be held in as much regard anymore. In our productivity-enamored, technology-driven, instantaneous response world, the act of thinking is often considered, at best—quaint, and at its least flattering, an indication of a slow mind. We’re expected to make snap decisions, instantaneous judgments (with or without all the facts, no less!) have ideas gush forth in brainstorming meetings or large, communal bull pit type offices. Then, once the idea has been decided upon, we’re expected to produce, produce, produce non stop in a straight, continuous line until a project is finished. Frankly, I’m exhausted simply writing that paragraph.
So what if your brain doesn’t work that way? Well, now you can take heart in the knowledge that many creative peoples’ don’t and in fact, if your brain doesn’t function that way, perhaps it is due to its creative nature.
For some writers, it takes time to peel off layers of ourselves and weave them into our work. It takes time to observe and study human nature, collecting and appropriating mannerisms, emotional dynamics, and dramas, and then incorporate them into our stories.
This is absolutely not to say that writers or other creatives who are prolific are not creative; creativity comes in many different flavors, sizes, and speeds. But in a world where output, production, and speed are the gold standard, it’s important to remind ourselves that fast doesn’t always mean better. For some people, speed gets in the way of producing their richest, deepest, most creative work.
Even that bastion of productivity, Stephen King, has confessed to having periods of apparent idleness interspersed with frantic bursts of impassioned writing.
Note the word apparent. I’m guessing he couldn’t have one without the other. In fact, those fallow periods are what lead to the frantic production.
I’ve always loved that word fallow. The idea of letting the land lie dormant for a season in order to restore its fertility. But there are lots of terms that work: percolating, stewing, fermenting, gestating. All of the processes take a set of original ingredients and, through the simple alchemy of time, turn them into something more than the sum of their parts. So often we forget that time itself is an essential ingredient to creativity.
Our brain—our subconscious—is doing all sorts of things, even when our conscious mind does not appear to be engaged.
One of my favorite parts of the creative process is discovering the trail of breadcrumbs my subconscious has left me. Those are the bits we put in a story–maybe a line that doesn’t quite make sense at the time–that feel as if they need to be there, so we leave them in. Or a character that comes out of left field, or a plot thread that we hadn’t planned and—-worse!—-we’re not sure where it’s going. But listening to our gut, we leave it in for now, assuring ourselves we can cut it later. Only it turns out, later, when we go back, we see that those bits are absolutely essential to the deeper meaning of our story, or bring a whole new layer of subtext and meaning to the characters’ actions, or allow for a deeper resonance.
That’s our subconscious at work, making the connections and building the links that we didn’t even realize would be the most critical parts of our story. And sometimes, oftentimes, that really can’t be rushed without sacrificing depth or quality.
I also suspect that, early in our writing journeys, the stories just gush out. We have such a backload of stories we want to tell, of things we want to say, and they burst out of us fast and glorious, like a geyser. But eventually, that initial flow slows and we become more intentional and discriminating in what stories we choose to spend our creative capital on.
I want to be clear that fallow periods and daydreaming aren’t about waiting around for the muse to show up or waiting on inspiration. This is about giving ideas the time they need to fully develop. It’s about staring at the wall and thinking about the story, thinking about the characters and the themes and the deeper meanings behind it all rather than getting words on a page to meet a daily goal. Maybe that means doing a lot of pre writing or story journaling, or writing a bazillion drafts. Whatever method works for allowing you the time you need to fully develop your ideas and let them ripen and mature. And sometimes, to the rest of the world, it can look a lot like simply doing nothing. So maybe instead of feeling pressured to hit the keyboard or pick up that pencil before you’re ready, give yourself permission to stare at the damned wall.
The thing is, there are so many reasons to rush: to finally hook an agent, to get published, to generate enough income to quit your day job or pay off your student loans, or to produce a book a year so that the reading public doesn’t forget you.
But it’s important to keep in mind that there are many writers for whom the announcement of a new book is an event. Donna Tartt, Michel Faber, Meghan Whalen Turner, Patrick Rothfuss, and George R. R. Martin to name a few. The world will happily wait the required time it takes them, because they know that the payoff will be great. They know that the book will be rich and layered and nuanced and full.
So maybe instead of frantically meeting your daily word goal or making sure you spend three hours each day with your butt planted in the writing chair, allow yourself to go forth and do nothing—proudly. It just might be the best thing you can possibly do for your story.
Robin LaFevers on Sep 12 2014
***
Barnaby is delighted to discover that his daydreaming, wandering mind and wall staring are all part of his creative process and not abnormal behaviour at all. The fruits of this subconscious creative labouring can be found at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk ... Now for a bit more navel gazing.
Tuesday, 2 September 2014
New TWB Collection. New TAT Poetry Magazine.
Top Writer's Block (TWB) have published a new collection of short stories this week under the title 'Rune', which is available for download in the e-book format of your choice here
Runes were used by Scandinavians and Anglo-Saxons from about the 3rd century. They were formed mainly by modifying Roman or Greek characters to suit carving, and were used both in writing and in divination.
Top Writers Block, a group of writers from around the world who publish books to raise funds for the Sea Shepherd charity, has found its own use for Runes in this collection of short stories.
Short stories are made for breaks, so why not sit for five minutes and enjoy each tale!
You can find more books by Top Writers Block here
Also available this week, to view online or download, is the latest copy of Poetry Magazine from The Australian Times.
You can download a copy here as well as finding links to previous editions.
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for more about the world of Barnaby Wilde.
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Barnaby thinks about garages
Barnaby has been contemplating his garage. Not the place where he buys his fuel, but the structure at the end of his garden, which is called a garage, but has never had a car in it since the day it was built.
In common with most people in Britain (and probably elsewhere), Barnaby's garage is a space in which to store all those things which are too good to throw away and 'might come in useful one day', but which, in practise, are never used again. This is different from that mythical 'safe place' where things are stored but never seen again.
Much of the stuff in Barnaby's garage is either so deeply buried behind or beneath other 'useful' stuff, or is in anonymous brown boxes, that he has long since forgotten what most of it is, thus proving that it's unlikely ever to be used again and probably won't even be seen again until the day he moves house and pays for it all to be moved to the next garage.
So, this week's resolution is to sell as much of this unneeded stuff as possible and Barnaby is feeling virtuous as the first few items have already gone. For the first time in a while, he can actually see a patch of the garage floor.
This problem doesn't arise with Barnaby's e-books, of course, since they take up no space at all. He can carry a whole library in his e-reader. More than he could read in a lifetime. You could, therefore, safely download a few of his books without filling your own garage and be comforted by the knowledge that you will always have something entertaining, amusing or thought provoking to read any time you feel the urge - maybe one of his short stories while you take a break from clearing out your own garage?
You can find out about Barnaby's e-books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk Some of them are even FREE to download.
In common with most people in Britain (and probably elsewhere), Barnaby's garage is a space in which to store all those things which are too good to throw away and 'might come in useful one day', but which, in practise, are never used again. This is different from that mythical 'safe place' where things are stored but never seen again.
Much of the stuff in Barnaby's garage is either so deeply buried behind or beneath other 'useful' stuff, or is in anonymous brown boxes, that he has long since forgotten what most of it is, thus proving that it's unlikely ever to be used again and probably won't even be seen again until the day he moves house and pays for it all to be moved to the next garage.
So, this week's resolution is to sell as much of this unneeded stuff as possible and Barnaby is feeling virtuous as the first few items have already gone. For the first time in a while, he can actually see a patch of the garage floor.
This problem doesn't arise with Barnaby's e-books, of course, since they take up no space at all. He can carry a whole library in his e-reader. More than he could read in a lifetime. You could, therefore, safely download a few of his books without filling your own garage and be comforted by the knowledge that you will always have something entertaining, amusing or thought provoking to read any time you feel the urge - maybe one of his short stories while you take a break from clearing out your own garage?
You can find out about Barnaby's e-books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk Some of them are even FREE to download.
Monday, 11 August 2014
Barnaby thinks about holidays
Holidays mean different things to different people, of course. If you are working full time, then the holiday is something precious to be anticipated, planned carefully and relished as an alternative to the routine of everyday work. For many folk, this is an opportunity to do nothing, to relax on a beach somewhere, or by a pool. For others, their ideal holiday is indulging some physical activity like sailing, walking, or climbing, and for yet others it's a chance to catch up on repairs to the house or a time to visit friends and family. The essential feature of a holiday, though, is that it's an opportunity to do something different.
For most working people, their holidays will probably be just a couple of weeks a year. For some, especially the self employed, they might be lucky to get even that. Some might think that for folk like Barnaby, who are already retired, life is just one continuous holiday. It's almost true, but there are still plenty of routine chores and financial restrictions which can make that less than an actual reality. Nevertheless, Barnaby considers himself very fortunate to have as many leisure opportunities as he has.
One activity that many people enjoy during their annual break is reading, whether lounging by the pool with a drink in hand, sitting on the beach, or, maybe, relaxing on a cruise. The advent of the e-reader has meant that you can now take a whole library away with you and still be within the 'carry on' luggage allowance. This means that you can try something new, take a risk on an unknown author for example. To this end, Barnaby invites you to sample some of his e-books. There are several that can be downloaded for FREE, including Quirky Verse, Detective Fiction, Short Stories and Humorous Novels.
You can find out more at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk and, of course, if you like what you read, then you could always buy one of the follow up books for your next holiday.
Saturday, 2 August 2014
New to bookshelves this week
The group of writers from around the world, known under the collective title Top Writer's Block, have released a new collection of short stories inspired by the theme 'Justice'.
The law and justice are not the same thing. Some would say that Karma is justice.
Startling, sad, and sometimes selfish, these 8 tales by seven writers give their own meaning to justice.
Grab a coffee and get comfortable. Short stories are made for coffee breaks. Justice can be found and downloaded here.
All profits from the sale of this book and others in the twb series, go to the Sea Shepherd charity.
Previous titles from twb include Wheels (published in July 2014)
and Pain (published in June 2014).
All previous titles are still available. More information here
Also available this week is the latest issue of The Australian Times (TAT) Poetry Magazine, containing two of Barnaby's Quirky Verses, which can be found here
More information about all Barnaby Wilde books can be found at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk as usual.
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Last Chance
The Smashwords summer sale runs until the end of July, so you only have a few days remaining to take advantage of the discounts.
You can use coupon code SSW50 here for 50% discounts on many of Barnaby's Books, including
Mercedes Drew, The Collection Volumes One to Three of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries in one collection
Chameleons A collection Sci Fi short stories in the traditional style. Not a vampire, wizard, or zombie in sight.
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts 40 Short stories, just the right length to read during your coffee break, on the beach, in bed or in the bath. Humour, Sci Fi, Romance, Mystery, or Adventure. Something for everyone.
Every Which Way but East The third adventure in the Tom Fletcher series in which Tom once again saves the universe. Only suitable for those with a quirky sense of humour.
There are many other titles in Barnaby's Summer Sale and many titles that are still available as FREE downloads.
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for more information about all Barnaby's books, including quirky verse, detective fiction, short stories and more.
You can use coupon code SSW50 here for 50% discounts on many of Barnaby's Books, including
Mercedes Drew, The Collection Volumes One to Three of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries in one collection
Chameleons A collection Sci Fi short stories in the traditional style. Not a vampire, wizard, or zombie in sight.
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts 40 Short stories, just the right length to read during your coffee break, on the beach, in bed or in the bath. Humour, Sci Fi, Romance, Mystery, or Adventure. Something for everyone.
Every Which Way but East The third adventure in the Tom Fletcher series in which Tom once again saves the universe. Only suitable for those with a quirky sense of humour.
There are many other titles in Barnaby's Summer Sale and many titles that are still available as FREE downloads.
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for more information about all Barnaby's books, including quirky verse, detective fiction, short stories and more.
Thursday, 3 July 2014
Barnaby has a SALE!
For July only, you can download Barnaby's e-books for 50% of the usual price by using coupon code SSW50 at the checkout. For example:
Mercedes Drew, the collection. Volumes One, Two and Three of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Nine complete stories featuring the motorcycling Mercedes Drew and her boyfriend Detective Inspector Flowers. A hit and run, a warehouse robbery, a train derailment, a missing cat, arson and kidnap in volume one. A stolen rhinoceros head, a post office robbery,a body in the woods in volume two, and mysterious goings on in the allotments, a lorry hijack and arson at the golf club in volume three. Plus a preview of Smile for the Camera, the latest full length Mercedes Drew Mystery.
All this for $1.49 (87p) here using coupon code SSW50
Chameleons A woman dreams of chameleons every night; a man in an orange jumpsuit finds himself marooned on a featureless plain; the first confirmed message from an extra terrestrial source; a cube with a mind of it's own and a bored space explorer all feature in this collection of sci fi short stories in the old style. No magic, no wizards, no warlocks, no werewolves and not a vampire in sight. What if aliens were really small? Is time travel possible? Who will be the last man standing? Ten stories plus a bonus glimpse of the next Sci fi novel from Barnaby Wilde. Tales with a hint of mystery, a touch of humour and a twist in the tail.
Chameleons download 99c here using coupon code SSW50
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts Forty coffee break sized stories (Volumes 1 to 4 of Barnaby's Shorts) in one collected volume. Ideal for the beach, in the bath, on the train to work, or, while taking your morning coffee. A mix of genres, including mystery, romance, sci fi and humour. Who are The Women Furies? Can you grow a man from a bean? Is it possible to rob a bank by accident?
Answers to these questions plus four tales from the Vertigo labs.
Can a man get trapped inside a Kindle? What would you do if you were stalked by the invisible man? and how did Amelia find her new man?
Forty stories in one book (also available as four separate volumes)
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts download available here for only $1.25 using coupon code SSW50
Visit Smashwords to find more of Barnaby's books in the 50% off July SALE plus several FREE titles.
Mercedes Drew, the collection. Volumes One, Two and Three of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Nine complete stories featuring the motorcycling Mercedes Drew and her boyfriend Detective Inspector Flowers. A hit and run, a warehouse robbery, a train derailment, a missing cat, arson and kidnap in volume one. A stolen rhinoceros head, a post office robbery,a body in the woods in volume two, and mysterious goings on in the allotments, a lorry hijack and arson at the golf club in volume three. Plus a preview of Smile for the Camera, the latest full length Mercedes Drew Mystery.
All this for $1.49 (87p) here using coupon code SSW50
Chameleons A woman dreams of chameleons every night; a man in an orange jumpsuit finds himself marooned on a featureless plain; the first confirmed message from an extra terrestrial source; a cube with a mind of it's own and a bored space explorer all feature in this collection of sci fi short stories in the old style. No magic, no wizards, no warlocks, no werewolves and not a vampire in sight. What if aliens were really small? Is time travel possible? Who will be the last man standing? Ten stories plus a bonus glimpse of the next Sci fi novel from Barnaby Wilde. Tales with a hint of mystery, a touch of humour and a twist in the tail.
Chameleons download 99c here using coupon code SSW50
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts Forty coffee break sized stories (Volumes 1 to 4 of Barnaby's Shorts) in one collected volume. Ideal for the beach, in the bath, on the train to work, or, while taking your morning coffee. A mix of genres, including mystery, romance, sci fi and humour. Who are The Women Furies? Can you grow a man from a bean? Is it possible to rob a bank by accident?
Answers to these questions plus four tales from the Vertigo labs.
Can a man get trapped inside a Kindle? What would you do if you were stalked by the invisible man? and how did Amelia find her new man?
Forty stories in one book (also available as four separate volumes)
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts download available here for only $1.25 using coupon code SSW50
Visit Smashwords to find more of Barnaby's books in the 50% off July SALE plus several FREE titles.
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Barnaby thinks small
The British economist E F Schumacher used the phrase 'Small
is Beautiful' as the title to a series of essays he published in 1973 (The
phrase itself is credited to his tutor, Leopold Kohr). The phrase is usually
used to champion small design solutions that are reckoned to empower people
more.
Barnaby has been wondering how this philosophy translates to
books, where it seems that 'bigger is better' is often assumed. A look in any
book shop window will reveal the latest blockbuster novels which are often
four, five, or even six hundred pages long. Indeed it appears that these books
are sometimes sold by the kilo rather than by the quality of the writing. Does
this mean that a long novel is, therefore, superior to a short story?
Happily not, for the truth is that it is ultimately the
quality of the ideas and the writing that will win out. There is a place for
both the long and the short. The long novel allows plots to be developed
further and characters to be explored in more depth. The short story allows
single ideas to be presented in novel ways and is sometimes the jumping off
point to be developed further at some later date. Many times, though, the short
story exists simply to provide a few minutes entertainment, or to provoke a new
thought.
To this end, Barnaby has been creating short stories for the
last couple of years in what he calls 'coffee break' sized pieces. Each can be
read in about ten or fifteen minutes, just long enough to accompany your
morning coffee. (Of course they work just as well in the bath, on the train, or
in bed).
Each book in the Barnaby's Shorts series contains ten short
stories in a wide variety of genres. To get you started, Volume One is entirely
FREE! here and, as it is an ebook
download, it doesn't even weigh a fraction of a kilo.
You can find more of Barnaby's books at
www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Apple makes it easy for ebook downloading
Apple's New iOS 8 is Game-Changer for eBook Retailing
Yesterday Apple unveiled iOS 8, the new Apple operating system upgrade that will come out this fall.
Buried in a slide during the live demo event referenced as "iOS 8 features we didn’t have time to talk about" was an ebook retailing bombshell: iBooks will come pre-installed on iOS 8.
The iBooks app is Apple's ebook store. Inside that app are over 250,000 books from Smashwords authors.
This is a game-changer for ebook retailing.
Buried in a slide during the live demo event referenced as "iOS 8 features we didn’t have time to talk about" was an ebook retailing bombshell: iBooks will come pre-installed on iOS 8.
The iBooks app is Apple's ebook store. Inside that app are over 250,000 books from Smashwords authors.
This is a game-changer for ebook retailing.
iBooks will come pre-loaded on every device with iOS 8. Image modified from original sourced from BGR.com |
According to the latest public information, there are over 800 million devices (iPhone, iPod touch, iPad) running prior versions of Apple's iOS.
The new iOS will be available as a free upgrade to users of the iPhone 4s, iPhone 5, iPhone 5c, iPhone 5s, iPod touch 5th generation, iPad 2, iPad with Retina display, iPad Air, iPad mini and iPad mini with Retina display.
Prior to iOS 8, readers who wanted to shop iBooks were forced to click to the Apple App store, search for the iBooks app, sign in with their email address and password, and then install it.
The absence of a pre-installed app created unnecessary friction. It means only a fraction of Apple's customer base today has convenient access to your books (which makes the enormous success of iBooks all the more impressive). Yesterday's news means iBooks will become ubiquitous.
The new iOS will be available as a free upgrade to users of the iPhone 4s, iPhone 5, iPhone 5c, iPhone 5s, iPod touch 5th generation, iPad 2, iPad with Retina display, iPad Air, iPad mini and iPad mini with Retina display.
Prior to iOS 8, readers who wanted to shop iBooks were forced to click to the Apple App store, search for the iBooks app, sign in with their email address and password, and then install it.
The absence of a pre-installed app created unnecessary friction. It means only a fraction of Apple's customer base today has convenient access to your books (which makes the enormous success of iBooks all the more impressive). Yesterday's news means iBooks will become ubiquitous.
It'll be like having a bookstore in nearly one billion pockets and purses. It's not a stretch to speculate that within a couple years, the iBooks app will be ever-present on over one billion devices around the world.
Apple's brilliant move will place Barnaby's books just one or two clicks from being discovered by readers.
Apple's brilliant move will place Barnaby's books just one or two clicks from being discovered by readers.
Meantime, if you can't wait for iOS8, you can find all Barnaby's books from whichever online store you prefer (Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, Apple and many others) by visiting www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk including several FREE titles.
Monday, 2 June 2014
Two new titles
The first three volumes of Mercedes Drew Mysteries are now available in a single volume - Mercedes Drew the collection. This anthology contains nine complete Mercedes Drew stories, plus a preview of volume four Smile for the Camera.
You can find out more about the motorcycling Mercedes Drew, her biker mates and her boyfriend, Inspector Desmond Flowers at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Flowers for Mercedes, Free Running and Flandra are also still available as single volumes as ebooks or print editions.
Also newly published is the latest title from the Top Writers Block group. Eight authors from around the world, with eight stories inspired around the theme PAIN.
As always, profits from sales of books by Top Writers Block will go to the charity Sea Shepherd.
For more information or to purchase the book click here
You can find all of Barnaby's books at Amazon, Apple, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Scribd, Smashwords and many other online ebook retailers. www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Sunday, 25 May 2014
The irresistible rise of the short story
Why the short story is the perfect literary form for the 21st century.
The following paragraphs are extracted from an article in the Daily Telegraph 25th May 2014. The full article can be found here
There’s no doubt about it, the short story is having “a moment”. It started this time last year, when Lydia Davis, not so much a short-story writer as a short-short-story writer (some of her tales are only a sentence long) won the Man Booker International Prize, a decision that took the literary world by storm.
The following paragraphs are extracted from an article in the Daily Telegraph 25th May 2014. The full article can be found here
There’s no doubt about it, the short story is having “a moment”. It started this time last year, when Lydia Davis, not so much a short-story writer as a short-short-story writer (some of her tales are only a sentence long) won the Man Booker International Prize, a decision that took the literary world by storm.
When Davis’ triumph was followed by a Nobel Prize for the Canadian short-story writer Alice Munro, people started to mutter that something significant was afoot. While two successive prizes could be coincidence, the renaissance of the short story was confirmed when the American George Saunders won the inaugural Folio Prize at the start of the year for Tenth of December.
Publishing wisdom says short-story collections don’t sell. But the prognosis is good. According to The Bookseller, the trade magazine of the publishing industry, short-story sales rose 35 per cent in 2013 – and that was before Saunders won the Folio. But it is technology that has cemented the short story’s popularity this century. Suddenly, after years out in the cold, the short story finds itself the perfect fit for our attention spans and our mobile devices.
Many people struggle to find the time to engage with a full-length novel when they’re dealing with emails every second of every day or having to meet deadlines or rush home to put the kids to bed. A short story offers the perfect antidote – it’s the equivalent of listening to a single track of music instead of the whole album.
At their best, ... (short stories) are a whole world in miniature, they are like perfect small gifts. Like a brief encounter, they can be transforming and transfixing, but, unlike long relationships, they never flag.
You can find all Barnaby's Short Stories here . 8 volumes, with ten complete stories in each,
in a wide variety of genres. Each story the perfect length to read during a coffee break, in the bath or on the train.
There is more information about Barnaby's short stories, full length novels or quirky poems on his website www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Publishing wisdom says short-story collections don’t sell. But the prognosis is good. According to The Bookseller, the trade magazine of the publishing industry, short-story sales rose 35 per cent in 2013 – and that was before Saunders won the Folio. But it is technology that has cemented the short story’s popularity this century. Suddenly, after years out in the cold, the short story finds itself the perfect fit for our attention spans and our mobile devices.
Many people struggle to find the time to engage with a full-length novel when they’re dealing with emails every second of every day or having to meet deadlines or rush home to put the kids to bed. A short story offers the perfect antidote – it’s the equivalent of listening to a single track of music instead of the whole album.
At their best, ... (short stories) are a whole world in miniature, they are like perfect small gifts. Like a brief encounter, they can be transforming and transfixing, but, unlike long relationships, they never flag.
You can find all Barnaby's Short Stories here . 8 volumes, with ten complete stories in each,
in a wide variety of genres. Each story the perfect length to read during a coffee break, in the bath or on the train.
There is more information about Barnaby's short stories, full length novels or quirky poems on his website www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Monday, 19 May 2014
Is a picture worth a thousand words?
It's often claimed that 'a picture is worth a thousand words'.
The exact origin of that phrase is uncertain, but the earliest known usage of a
similar phrase (Use a picture. It's worth a thousand words) can be found in a
1911 newspaper article discussing journalism and publicity (Syracuse Post Standard (page 18). March 28, 1911). The
meaning would appear to be fairly clear, that a complex idea can be conveyed with
a single image, but Barnaby wonders, if that's true, why would anyone bother to
write at all? It's so easy, nowadays, to create pictures, on a mobile phone for
example, and to share them with the world at the press of a button, that
labouring over a novel, or a piece of poetry would seem to be wasted labour.
All those hours, agonising over the exact word or phrase to convey a moment, an
emotion, an idea, could simply be expunged by a few clicks on your digital
camera.
Instead of a hundred thousand word novel, you would simply
have a one hundred frame picture strip.
The problem with this approach, it seems to Barnaby, is that
you would only have access to the pictures that the author/photographer
supplied, whereas we all know that the best pictures are the ones the reader
constructs inside his/her head. Hence the enduring popularity of the radio, newspaper and
the printed book.
So, Barnaby has resolved to keep placing one word after
another, in order to construct a framework, be it short story, poem, or novel,
onto which you, dear reader, may hang your own pictures. To get you started,
though, he will continue to include one picture on the cover of each published
book. A selection of which are printed below.
You can find information about
the books in the pictures at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
Chameleons -- Sci fi anthology
A woman dreams of chameleons every night; a man in an orange jumpsuit finds himself marooned on a featureless plain; the first confirmed message from an extra terrestrial source; a cube with a mind of it's own and a bored space explorer all feature in this collection of sci fi short stories in the old style.
No magic, no wizards, no warlocks, no werewolves and not a vampire in sight.
What if aliens were really small? Is time travel possible? Who will be the last man standing? Ten stories plus a bonus glimpse of the next Sci fi novel from Barnaby Wilde. Tales with a hint of mystery, a touch of humour and a twist in the tail.
'Chameleons' is available now as an ebook in the format of your choice from Smashwords or Amazon
You can find out more about Barnaby Wilde's books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk , follow him on Twitter or read his blog.
No magic, no wizards, no warlocks, no werewolves and not a vampire in sight.
What if aliens were really small? Is time travel possible? Who will be the last man standing? Ten stories plus a bonus glimpse of the next Sci fi novel from Barnaby Wilde. Tales with a hint of mystery, a touch of humour and a twist in the tail.
'Chameleons' is available now as an ebook in the format of your choice from Smashwords or Amazon
You can find out more about Barnaby Wilde's books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk , follow him on Twitter or read his blog.
Thursday, 1 May 2014
Barnaby thinks about immortality
Barnaby's attention was caught by a newspaper headline this week concerning life expectancy in the UK. It seems that life expectancy for males has increased by 8 years during the last 30 years. That is, a baby born today has a life expectancy of 8 years more than one born in 1984.
This improvement is largely due to improvements in health care.
This astonishing increase means that life expectancy has increased by more than one year in every four, or three months in every year.
It occurs to Barnaby that this is the equivalent of an improvement in life expectancy of six hours every day, or fifteen minutes every hour, and he wonders if this means he will live for ever, since life expectancy will improve by fifteen seconds every minute?
Sadly, it does not and the only way that he will achieve immortality is through his books, should anyone choose to read them. He has resolved, therefore, to continue writing in the hope that this will keep him young forever.
You can find all his books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk including all eight volumes (80 stories) in the Barnaby's Shorts series.
So, why not slow down and use today's fifteen minutes increase in life expectancy to read one of Barnaby's short stories? It's a great way to use that extra time.
This improvement is largely due to improvements in health care.
This astonishing increase means that life expectancy has increased by more than one year in every four, or three months in every year.
It occurs to Barnaby that this is the equivalent of an improvement in life expectancy of six hours every day, or fifteen minutes every hour, and he wonders if this means he will live for ever, since life expectancy will improve by fifteen seconds every minute?
Sadly, it does not and the only way that he will achieve immortality is through his books, should anyone choose to read them. He has resolved, therefore, to continue writing in the hope that this will keep him young forever.
You can find all his books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk including all eight volumes (80 stories) in the Barnaby's Shorts series.
So, why not slow down and use today's fifteen minutes increase in life expectancy to read one of Barnaby's short stories? It's a great way to use that extra time.
Sunday, 27 April 2014
What's a chicken got to do with anything?
Ten more complete short stories to read anywhere, anytime, in this new collection.
Sci fi, romance, mystery and humour. A variety of genres to suit every palate.
Somethin's wrong, terrible wrong at the farm in 'Fine Weather'.
An unexpected encounter at 40,000 feet in 'Night Flight'.
A new use for ATMs in 'Dr Kemp's Card', and a man fights for his life in 'Runaway'.
This new collection includes a complete Mercedes Drew mystery in 'A Party for Mike' and another tale from the Vertigo Labs in 'Double Trouble'.
Ten stories that are just the right length to read in your coffee break, in bed, on the beach, on a plane, or in the bath.
The quiz team from the Poacher's Inn hold another rambling conversation in 'Reflections' and Harry finds a mysterious object in a scrapyard in 'Press to Reset'.
All this and more in this eighth volume of short stories in the Barnaby's Shorts series.
What's a chicken got to do with anything? You'll have to read the book to find out. You can download Barnaby's Shorts (volume 8) in the e-book format of your choice from here
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for information about all Barnaby's books.
Sci fi, romance, mystery and humour. A variety of genres to suit every palate.
Somethin's wrong, terrible wrong at the farm in 'Fine Weather'.
An unexpected encounter at 40,000 feet in 'Night Flight'.
A new use for ATMs in 'Dr Kemp's Card', and a man fights for his life in 'Runaway'.
This new collection includes a complete Mercedes Drew mystery in 'A Party for Mike' and another tale from the Vertigo Labs in 'Double Trouble'.
Ten stories that are just the right length to read in your coffee break, in bed, on the beach, on a plane, or in the bath.
The quiz team from the Poacher's Inn hold another rambling conversation in 'Reflections' and Harry finds a mysterious object in a scrapyard in 'Press to Reset'.
All this and more in this eighth volume of short stories in the Barnaby's Shorts series.
What's a chicken got to do with anything? You'll have to read the book to find out. You can download Barnaby's Shorts (volume 8) in the e-book format of your choice from here
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for information about all Barnaby's books.
Friday, 18 April 2014
Barnaby goes channel hopping
Barnaby is not normally a channel hopper, preferring to read
the TV listings and select those programmes that particularly appeal to him.
Often this is simply the late night news, but he also enjoys good drama,
particularly crime and the occasional gardening programme. He isn't, though,
totally immune to channel hopping at the end of the day when nothing specific
catches his attention.
Last night, while flicking through dozens of
channels, he came across a group of people whose business involved chopping up
cars and reassembling the pieces to create different, bespoke cars for people
wealthy enough to afford this form of customised transport. This gave Barnaby
an idea.
Book chop shop. Instead of creating entirely new books from
scratch and having to write every new word, why not chop bits from existing
books and reassemble them to create a new one? Now, before you shout 'plagiarism',
or 'copyright infringement', Barnaby wishes to make it clear that he is referring
only to his own books. He wouldn't dream of stealing from some other hard
working author.
There are a few problems, of course. Welding the parts
together to make a seamless join might be more difficult than writing the whole
thing anew. There may also be complaints from readers experiencing a constant
feeling of 'déjà vu' when reading one of these reassembled books.
On balance, therefore, Barnaby will continue to write each
new story the hard way, word by word, sentence by sentence, and would like to
assure his readers that every new story will be genuinely new.
You can find all his stories, old and new, at
www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk of course, in e-book or paperback format.
Meanwhile, it's back to the keyboard.
Tuesday, 1 April 2014
Barnaby follows the sun
Barnaby is flying to Spain tomorrow for a few days of R and R in the sun. Naturally, he'll be taking his Kindle and catching up on a few downloads that he's not found time to read so far. Amongst them, will be the latest offering from those unstoppable Top Writer's Block people. An informal group of Indie authors who publish anthologies of short stories on behalf of the Sea Shepherd charity.
The latest TWB oeuvre is 'Back Roads and Water', nine stories inspired by this month's theme.
Back roads can lead to places you might not like to go, while water can be a life saver - or taker.
Eight authors from around the world have contributed to this anthology which will take you down a different road each time.
You will find all the previous TWB anthologies here as well as links to some of the authors.
Of course, all Barnaby's own works are still available as e-book downloads or paperbacks. For more information, visit his website at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Happy reading.
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
Ribbon and Yarn - New TWB collection
TopWriters Block (TWB) is an informal group of writers from around the world who have decided to write stories together - just for the fun of it!
The authors proceeds from the book sales go to Sea Shepherd (http://www.seashepherd.org/), an international non-profit, marine wildlife conservation organization, whose mission is to end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species.
The latest collection of stories from TWB, Ribbons and Yarn, is now available to download as an e-book http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/419333
This collection of short stories is loosely based around the theme of Ribbon & Yarn.
Romance, tragedy and comedy have all become entangled in these eight tales from six authors that will keep your attention until the end.
If you enjoy these tales from TWB, there are many more titles available at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/TopWritersBlock with stories in every genre, from murder to mayhem, romance to poetry or fantasy to horror. Truly something for every taste.
The authors proceeds from the book sales go to Sea Shepherd (http://www.seashepherd.org/), an international non-profit, marine wildlife conservation organization, whose mission is to end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species.
The latest collection of stories from TWB, Ribbons and Yarn, is now available to download as an e-book http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/419333
This collection of short stories is loosely based around the theme of Ribbon & Yarn.
Romance, tragedy and comedy have all become entangled in these eight tales from six authors that will keep your attention until the end.
If you enjoy these tales from TWB, there are many more titles available at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/TopWritersBlock with stories in every genre, from murder to mayhem, romance to poetry or fantasy to horror. Truly something for every taste.
Saturday, 15 March 2014
More Real Ale than Champagne
Barnaby has been thinking about TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms). What set him wondering, was a punctuation query. Should a TLA have full stops after each letter to denote the abbreviation?
The answer appears to be that there is no definitive answer. Some common acronyms such as a.m. and p.m., or A.D. and B.C. are commonly, but not invariably, written with full stops, as is G.I. and C.D.. Whereas BBC and NATO are usually written without. O.K. is apparently OK written either way.
Plurals present another difficulty. Should it be C.D.'s or CDs? Once again there seems to be no definitive answer. Perhaps it's simply a matter of preference? The recent explosive growth in the use of abbreviations and acronyms due to the widespread adoption of Text Speak has led to innumerable new examples, almost entirely without the full stop or apostrophe. Is this bad grammar, or progress? Probably neither, is Barnaby's conclusion, simply fashion.
Barnaby has resolved, therefore, to drop the use of the full stop in his writing when used as a separator in acronyms. From this point forth it will no longer be O.K., OK, but OK. Thus Detective Chief Inspector Webb, from the Mercedes Drew Mystery series, will henceforth be DCI Webb and Dogtooth, from the same series, will be known as DT. Of course, if you read the full series, you will undoubtedly find that Barnaby (who will henceforth be known in text speak as BW) has used both the full stop and the apostrophe with some inconsistency, for which he humbly craves your indulgence. Actually, he's hoping that you'll be so wrapped up in the stories, that you won't even notice the punctuation. (You can find the whole Mercedes Drew Mystery series at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk of course, along with all BW's other e-books and paperbacks).
The following verse was penned by BW a few years back when he also found himself pondering acronyms of the two, three, four and even five letter kind. He hopes that even if the verse doesn't make you LOL, it might at least make you smile.
Copyright BW (Nov 2003)
The answer appears to be that there is no definitive answer. Some common acronyms such as a.m. and p.m., or A.D. and B.C. are commonly, but not invariably, written with full stops, as is G.I. and C.D.. Whereas BBC and NATO are usually written without. O.K. is apparently OK written either way.
Plurals present another difficulty. Should it be C.D.'s or CDs? Once again there seems to be no definitive answer. Perhaps it's simply a matter of preference? The recent explosive growth in the use of abbreviations and acronyms due to the widespread adoption of Text Speak has led to innumerable new examples, almost entirely without the full stop or apostrophe. Is this bad grammar, or progress? Probably neither, is Barnaby's conclusion, simply fashion.
Barnaby has resolved, therefore, to drop the use of the full stop in his writing when used as a separator in acronyms. From this point forth it will no longer be O.K., OK, but OK. Thus Detective Chief Inspector Webb, from the Mercedes Drew Mystery series, will henceforth be DCI Webb and Dogtooth, from the same series, will be known as DT. Of course, if you read the full series, you will undoubtedly find that Barnaby (who will henceforth be known in text speak as BW) has used both the full stop and the apostrophe with some inconsistency, for which he humbly craves your indulgence. Actually, he's hoping that you'll be so wrapped up in the stories, that you won't even notice the punctuation. (You can find the whole Mercedes Drew Mystery series at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk of course, along with all BW's other e-books and paperbacks).
The following verse was penned by BW a few years back when he also found himself pondering acronyms of the two, three, four and even five letter kind. He hopes that even if the verse doesn't make you LOL, it might at least make you smile.
I’m more MFI than Amalfi.
I’m more BHS than Biarritz .
I’m more M and S than Mauritius .
I’m more C and A than Cadiz .
I’m more HGV than Ferrari.
I’m more VPL than lace thong.
I’m more G and T than Campari.
I’m more R and B than folk song.
I’m not AOP nor yet YUPPIE,
Neither DINKY nor NIMBY nor bum.
I’m an ‘A’ OK sort of chappie.
A VGSOH sort of chum.
I’m more B and B than the Hilton.
I’m more H2O than old port.
I’m more OTT with a kilt on.
I’m more BBC than Sky Sport.
I’m more G and S than Puccini.
I’m more DIY than bespoke.
I’m more KFC than linguini.
Yes, … I’m an ‘A’ OK
kind of bloke.
I’m not RIP yet, nor baby,
And I’m not as PC as I should.
I could do with more TLC maybe.
(Make it ASAP if you could).
Saturday, 8 March 2014
Barnaby considers working to rule
One of Barnaby's favourite authors is Kurt Vonnegut, (November 11, 1922 – April 11, 2007), the author of Slaughterhouse Five and Cat's Cradle among many others. (Picture: U.S. Army official portrait of Kurt Vonnegut, c. early 1940s)
Vonnegut listed eight rules for writing a short story in his book Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction. He also commented that great authors break all of these rules, though not necessarily all of the rules all of the time. He also graded his own work, awarding himself grades from A to D (The grades can be found in "The Sexual Revolution", Chapter 18 of his book Palm Sunday).
The Vonnegut list:
- Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
- Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
- Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
- Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
- Start as close to the end as possible.
- Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
- Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
- Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
You can find all Barnaby's stories and quirky poems at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Saturday, 1 March 2014
Bag a Bargain - Read an e-book week 2014
For one week only, between March 2nd and 8th 2014, you will find hundreds of e-books deeply discounted on the Smashwords website during the annual 'Read an e-book Week'.
You'll find every one of Barnaby's books at prices from 'FREE' ( 5 titles, including Flowers for Mercedes, Animalia, I Keep Thinking it's Tuesday and Barnaby's Shorts (vol one)) up to a maximum price of $1.50 (approx. 90pence).
This is your chance to bag a bargain, whether your taste is for quirky verse, humour, short stories or detective fiction. You could buy the entire collection of 21 e-books for under $20 ( approx. £10). Enough reading for a whole year!
You can find Barnaby's e-books on Smashwords here in any format to suit your e-reader.
Of course, the paperback versions are still available. (More information at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk)
Sunday, 23 February 2014
Barnaby likes to be fooled
Barnaby has always liked magicians, conjurors, sleight of hand merchants, call them what you will. Whether it's a simple card trick, sawing a lady in half, walking through a solid wall, or levitation, he has always enjoyed the knowledge that he's being fooled and the fun of trying to puzzle out exactly how. Recently he has enjoyed watching young British magician Steven Frayne, better known to millions as Dynamo.
Steven performs both big magic, walking on water, or strolling down the vertical face of buildings for example, and small magic, performing what appear to be ad hoc tricks of magic on people in the street.
Barnaby truly has no idea how the tricks are performed, but, of course, he knows he is being fooled. The real joy of the magic is not knowing how the trick is done, but observing the reactions of the people on whom the tricks are performed; astonishment, wonder, incredulity, but, best of all, sheer delight.
In a small way, all authors are frustrated magicians, who wish to transport their readers to new places, or experiences, without them being aware of the techniques or process involved. If they can create astonishment, wonder, incredulity, or, best of all, sheer delight, then they can be content that they've performed their own little bit of magic.
Barnaby hopes you'll sample some of his e-books and paperbacks and enjoy some of the magic that he's tried to create, whether it's quirky poetry, short stories, detective fiction or humorous novels. For more details visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Of course, if all you want to see is a man walking on water, you'll have to google Dynamo.
Steven performs both big magic, walking on water, or strolling down the vertical face of buildings for example, and small magic, performing what appear to be ad hoc tricks of magic on people in the street.
Barnaby truly has no idea how the tricks are performed, but, of course, he knows he is being fooled. The real joy of the magic is not knowing how the trick is done, but observing the reactions of the people on whom the tricks are performed; astonishment, wonder, incredulity, but, best of all, sheer delight.
In a small way, all authors are frustrated magicians, who wish to transport their readers to new places, or experiences, without them being aware of the techniques or process involved. If they can create astonishment, wonder, incredulity, or, best of all, sheer delight, then they can be content that they've performed their own little bit of magic.
Barnaby hopes you'll sample some of his e-books and paperbacks and enjoy some of the magic that he's tried to create, whether it's quirky poetry, short stories, detective fiction or humorous novels. For more details visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Of course, if all you want to see is a man walking on water, you'll have to google Dynamo.
Saturday, 15 February 2014
Smile for the Camera
The Fourth volume in The Mercedes Drew Mysteries series, 'Smile for the Camera', is now
available in e-book and paperback form.
Unlike
volumes 1 to 3, which contained three shorter stories in each, volume 4, 'Smile for the Camera', contains one
full length mystery for Mercedes Drew and Inspector Flowers, featuring an Art
theft from a country house, a rock festival, a missing teenage girl, a
photographer and a dead body.
When
a young girl goes missing at the Wemrock music festival, Inspector Flowers has
to drop all his other cases to lead the search. Mercedes Drew, Bentley, her
brother, and Dogtooth, her biker friend, are unwilling to stand idly by and
watch.
You
can download the e-book in the format of your choice from
here or, if you prefer to feel the
weight of the words in your hands, in paperback form here
Of
course, the previous volumes, 'Flowers
for Mercedes', 'Free Running'
and 'Flandra' are still available.
Flowers for Mercedes – "… Excellent entertainment! Well, written and
edited. …" Suzy Dubot, 5* Review,
Smashwords, Dec 2012 (currently available as a FREE download for e-book in any format).
FreeRunning – "… I highly recommend this book to anyone
who likes mysteries with a side-order of laughs. …" David Keith, 5*
Review, Smashwords, Jan 2013
Flandra – "… Once again I have enjoyed reading the
latest adventures of Mercedes and look forward to reading the next book in the
series. …" MGM, 5* Review, Amazon,
May 2013
Details
of these and all other published titles at the author's website
www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Wednesday, 12 February 2014
Get your hands on something big!
For many people, e-books are the ideal reading solution. A whole library in a device small enough to put in your pocket or handbag. Some folk, though, are only happy when they can feel the weight and smell the pages of a real, physical book.
Happily there are authors who are happy to cater for both markets. Top Writer's Block, a loose consortium of Indie Authors from around the world, have been releasing collections of short stories in just about any genre you can imagine in e-book form for over a year. The first five volumes of stories by TWB have now been collated into a single volume for those people who are only satisfied when they've got something big in their hands.
TWB volume One contains over 300 pages, 16 authors and 41 stories. A satisfying handful for even the most discerning reader.
Inside, you will find mystery, romance, adventure, humour, horror and fantasy.
Profits from sales of the book will go to the environmental charity, Sea Shepherd.
You can get your hands on the book at the following locations.
USA http://tinyurl.com/ndjr7c7
UK http://tinyurl.com/qeofl8w
France http://tinyurl.com/p53o5lp
Happily there are authors who are happy to cater for both markets. Top Writer's Block, a loose consortium of Indie Authors from around the world, have been releasing collections of short stories in just about any genre you can imagine in e-book form for over a year. The first five volumes of stories by TWB have now been collated into a single volume for those people who are only satisfied when they've got something big in their hands.
TWB volume One contains over 300 pages, 16 authors and 41 stories. A satisfying handful for even the most discerning reader.
Inside, you will find mystery, romance, adventure, humour, horror and fantasy.
Profits from sales of the book will go to the environmental charity, Sea Shepherd.
You can get your hands on the book at the following locations.
USA http://tinyurl.com/ndjr7c7
UK http://tinyurl.com/qeofl8w
France http://tinyurl.com/p53o5lp
Saturday, 1 February 2014
Make Some New Friends
Top Writers Block is a group of Indie writers from around the world who have decided to write stories together - just for the fun of it! Seven writers have now released their latest collaboration - The Man on the Corner - a collection of ten short stories with each author's interpretation of that theme.
Whether you like mystery, romance, pathos, or are simply amused by the absurd, there is something for everyone in this collection. Who is that Man on the Corner, who seems to be waiting?
For a short time the book is available on FREE download here in the e-book format of your choice. After this, the book will remain available for a small charge, the whole profit from this going to support the Sea Shepherd charity.
This is a great way to sample the work of new authors to add to your favourites. When you have found the story that touches you in some way, why not visit that author's other books? Who knows? This could be the start of a beautiful new friendship.
(Of course, you will still find all Barnaby's books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk ) Happy reading.
Saturday, 25 January 2014
Antisocial Behaviour
Barnaby has been wondering if writing constitutes antisocial behaviour? Clearly, this isn't taken to the level of causing civil disturbance or general nuisance, but it is true that authors shun social company when they are in creative mode, however gregarious they might be at other times.
How many authors have a special writing place, be it a shed, an attic or simply a room with a door where they can shut themselves away from the intrusion of everyday life while they are writing? (And how many who don't, wish that they did?).
The aim of the fiction writer is to create a world for his reader that is sufficiently convincing for them to get fully immersed, even lost, in. Before the words can appear on the page, however, that world has to be created in the head of the writer. It can be difficult to maintain the consistent illusion of that fantasy if there are constant interruptions from people, telephones, family, doorbells, pets or any of the other myriad of potential attention seekers.
It is also likely to be the case that the author is carrying around the plot and the characters from his latest oeuvre inside his head and developing plot lines or constructing dialogues, even when he is not actually sat at the keyboard typing, thus appearing distracted, unfriendly, unwelcoming of human contact, or just downright anti social.
Or is it just me?
You can come into Barnaby's fantasy world by downloading any of his e-books, or purchasing a paperback. More information at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk He promises that your visit will be very welcome.
How many authors have a special writing place, be it a shed, an attic or simply a room with a door where they can shut themselves away from the intrusion of everyday life while they are writing? (And how many who don't, wish that they did?).
The aim of the fiction writer is to create a world for his reader that is sufficiently convincing for them to get fully immersed, even lost, in. Before the words can appear on the page, however, that world has to be created in the head of the writer. It can be difficult to maintain the consistent illusion of that fantasy if there are constant interruptions from people, telephones, family, doorbells, pets or any of the other myriad of potential attention seekers.
It is also likely to be the case that the author is carrying around the plot and the characters from his latest oeuvre inside his head and developing plot lines or constructing dialogues, even when he is not actually sat at the keyboard typing, thus appearing distracted, unfriendly, unwelcoming of human contact, or just downright anti social.
Or is it just me?
You can come into Barnaby's fantasy world by downloading any of his e-books, or purchasing a paperback. More information at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk He promises that your visit will be very welcome.
Friday, 17 January 2014
Can you judge a book by it's cover?
It's often been said that you can't judge a book by it's cover, yet the cover is the first thing that any prospective reader sees and on the basis of that initial impression the first decision is made, to sample or not to sample. Of course, even a sample of a book won't always tell you if the book is any good throughout, though it's usually a pretty good guide. It's a certainty, though, that a dull cover won't even tempt the casual observer to do more than simply move onto the next book on the shelf. So, with this thought in mind, Barnaby has decided that his knees have been on show long enough.
Today, he has uploaded new cover images for his short story series, 'Barnaby's Shorts'. The stories inside are untouched and as good as ever. So, dear reader, it's up to you. If you are tempted by any of the new covers, why not take a peep inside.
It's possible to sample every book by visiting www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk and clicking on any title that interests you. You'll find ten stories inside each volume in a wide variety of genres, just the right length to read in your coffee break, in the bath, in bed, on the beach or on the train ride to work. The only difficult choice is which volume to pick up first. (Tip: You don't have to start at volume one!).
Today, he has uploaded new cover images for his short story series, 'Barnaby's Shorts'. The stories inside are untouched and as good as ever. So, dear reader, it's up to you. If you are tempted by any of the new covers, why not take a peep inside.
It's possible to sample every book by visiting www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk and clicking on any title that interests you. You'll find ten stories inside each volume in a wide variety of genres, just the right length to read in your coffee break, in the bath, in bed, on the beach or on the train ride to work. The only difficult choice is which volume to pick up first. (Tip: You don't have to start at volume one!).
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