Once upon a time, Barnaby had a full head of hair. Like anyone else, he took it for granted. Washed it, combed it, moaned about it when it needed cutting and mostly forgot about it. It's clear from his profile photo, though, that this was some time ago. Although this may be seen by some as a disadvantage, Barnaby has been pondering the potential advantages to the world that might arise if everyone was bald.
Reduced pollution from shampoos and conditioners. Reduced heating costs from shorter shower times. Reduced power requirement and capital expenditure saving from non usage of hairdryers. Cost saving from not having to visit hairdresser. Time saving from not having to groom each day. All in all, there seem to be significant advantages.
There is a downside, of course. Loss of revenue for shampoo and hairdryer manufacturers. Unemployment for hairdressers (though perhaps they could retrain as tattoo artists, since there will now be more exposed skin to decorate?) Possible requirement to purchase more hats.
Barnaby has to acknowledge that there are a couple of potential benefits of having hair that are not necessarily obvious to those who are thus adorned. Rather like a cat's whiskers, hair can give an early warning of impending collision with low obstacles, such as lintels. Failing that, it does offer some protection in the event of impact.
It has to be said, however, that Barnaby has not found it particularly a disadvantage to lose his hair, (though some think it makes him look older)
At a personal level, Barnaby has discovered one advantage of being uncovered on top. He is always the first to notice that it has begun to rain.
He would also like to remind people, that while there may, or may not be, snow on the roof, there is still a fire in the cellar.
You can find more about Barnaby and his books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
Wednesday, 3 December 2014
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Barnaby's Shorts (#9) New title

Barnaby's Shorts, volume 9, is now available as a Kindle ebook from Amazon or in all ebook formats from Smashwords
Ten more tales which are just the right length to read in your tea break, with your morning coffee, in the bath, on the beach, or on the train.
Emily finally finds a real man in 'The Problem with Beans', The Poacher's Inn quiz team discuss the finer points of cycling in 'The Dandy Horse' and there is another tale from the Vertigo labs in 'Whichcraft'.
What happens when visitors outstay their welcome? What exactly are the Runes in Davey's Field? Can you define your life in a single word? Answers to these questions and more in Barnaby's Shorts (volume 9)
Humour, mystery, sci fi, romance and more in this new collection.
You can find out more about this book and all Barnaby's other works by visiting his website at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk and follow Barnaby on twitter @barnaby_wilde
Friday, 3 October 2014
The Craft - a new title from twb
Those folk at twb (Top Writers Block) have been at it again. This month's anthology of short stories inspired by the theme 'The Craft' is available for download in the ebook format of your choice here.
The Craft covers every manner of crafts - arts and crafts, witchcraft, space craft and others. Whatever the story, there is often a surprise at the end, so relax for a while and read this collection of short stories by TWB. Take the time to decide which you liked best. The authors' proceeds go to Sea Shepherd, who have dedicated themselves to protecting our oceans and seas and the life within.
This month's stories include a tale from the Vertigo labs by Barnaby Wilde, a story about the reason for film classifications from Suzy Dubot, a tale about the art of glass making (or is it a love story?) by Don Bick, a lyrical piece from Tracey Howard on the art of wood carving, Two stories from New Zealand writer John Muir, a mysterious film script from Melissa Szydlek and more. A mixed and surprisingly varied bunch of stories inspired by a single theme.
If you enjoy the variety of stories in The Craft why not check out the other titles released by twb or visit the individual authors book lists.

This month's stories include a tale from the Vertigo labs by Barnaby Wilde, a story about the reason for film classifications from Suzy Dubot, a tale about the art of glass making (or is it a love story?) by Don Bick, a lyrical piece from Tracey Howard on the art of wood carving, Two stories from New Zealand writer John Muir, a mysterious film script from Melissa Szydlek and more. A mixed and surprisingly varied bunch of stories inspired by a single theme.
If you enjoy the variety of stories in The Craft why not check out the other titles released by twb or visit the individual authors book lists.
About Top Writers Block
A group of writers from around the world who have decided to write stories together - just for the fun of it!
I am happy to announce that authors proceeds have now gone to Sea Shepherd.fr twice! Thank you to those who have supported the group.
Of course, you can find all Barnaby's Books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk as usual.
I am happy to announce that authors proceeds have now gone to Sea Shepherd.fr twice! Thank you to those who have supported the group.
Of course, you can find all Barnaby's Books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk as usual.
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
The Surprising Importance of Doing Nothing
The following item by Robin LaFevers is repeated here for those who may not have seen the original article.
***
Pop quiz! Studies have shown that creative people are known to:
A) Daydream. A lot.
B) They lose track of time.
C) Have wandering minds.
D) Stare at the wall. A lot.
E) All of the above
If you picked E, you are correct! Successful creatives spend much of their time so deeply immersed in their own internal worlds that, in the eyes of the world, it often appears that they’re doing nothing.
But of course, we know how very untrue that is. Our minds are busy working. Synapses are sparking, neural pathways firing, different corners of our brains coming together, making connections, leaping around seemingly unrelated topics, playing with ‘what if’ possibilities all the time.
The act of thinking used to be a respected one. It was understood that in order to have well-formed ideas and opinions—or even just make good decisions—we had to think about things. But that process doesn’t seem to be held in as much regard anymore. In our productivity-enamored, technology-driven, instantaneous response world, the act of thinking is often considered, at best—quaint, and at its least flattering, an indication of a slow mind. We’re expected to make snap decisions, instantaneous judgments (with or without all the facts, no less!) have ideas gush forth in brainstorming meetings or large, communal bull pit type offices. Then, once the idea has been decided upon, we’re expected to produce, produce, produce non stop in a straight, continuous line until a project is finished. Frankly, I’m exhausted simply writing that paragraph.
So what if your brain doesn’t work that way? Well, now you can take heart in the knowledge that many creative peoples’ don’t and in fact, if your brain doesn’t function that way, perhaps it is due to its creative nature.
For some writers, it takes time to peel off layers of ourselves and weave them into our work. It takes time to observe and study human nature, collecting and appropriating mannerisms, emotional dynamics, and dramas, and then incorporate them into our stories.
This is absolutely not to say that writers or other creatives who are prolific are not creative; creativity comes in many different flavors, sizes, and speeds. But in a world where output, production, and speed are the gold standard, it’s important to remind ourselves that fast doesn’t always mean better. For some people, speed gets in the way of producing their richest, deepest, most creative work.
Even that bastion of productivity, Stephen King, has confessed to having periods of apparent idleness interspersed with frantic bursts of impassioned writing.
Note the word apparent. I’m guessing he couldn’t have one without the other. In fact, those fallow periods are what lead to the frantic production.
I’ve always loved that word fallow. The idea of letting the land lie dormant for a season in order to restore its fertility. But there are lots of terms that work: percolating, stewing, fermenting, gestating. All of the processes take a set of original ingredients and, through the simple alchemy of time, turn them into something more than the sum of their parts. So often we forget that time itself is an essential ingredient to creativity.
Our brain—our subconscious—is doing all sorts of things, even when our conscious mind does not appear to be engaged.
One of my favorite parts of the creative process is discovering the trail of breadcrumbs my subconscious has left me. Those are the bits we put in a story–maybe a line that doesn’t quite make sense at the time–that feel as if they need to be there, so we leave them in. Or a character that comes out of left field, or a plot thread that we hadn’t planned and—-worse!—-we’re not sure where it’s going. But listening to our gut, we leave it in for now, assuring ourselves we can cut it later. Only it turns out, later, when we go back, we see that those bits are absolutely essential to the deeper meaning of our story, or bring a whole new layer of subtext and meaning to the characters’ actions, or allow for a deeper resonance.
That’s our subconscious at work, making the connections and building the links that we didn’t even realize would be the most critical parts of our story. And sometimes, oftentimes, that really can’t be rushed without sacrificing depth or quality.
I also suspect that, early in our writing journeys, the stories just gush out. We have such a backload of stories we want to tell, of things we want to say, and they burst out of us fast and glorious, like a geyser. But eventually, that initial flow slows and we become more intentional and discriminating in what stories we choose to spend our creative capital on.
I want to be clear that fallow periods and daydreaming aren’t about waiting around for the muse to show up or waiting on inspiration. This is about giving ideas the time they need to fully develop. It’s about staring at the wall and thinking about the story, thinking about the characters and the themes and the deeper meanings behind it all rather than getting words on a page to meet a daily goal. Maybe that means doing a lot of pre writing or story journaling, or writing a bazillion drafts. Whatever method works for allowing you the time you need to fully develop your ideas and let them ripen and mature. And sometimes, to the rest of the world, it can look a lot like simply doing nothing. So maybe instead of feeling pressured to hit the keyboard or pick up that pencil before you’re ready, give yourself permission to stare at the damned wall.
The thing is, there are so many reasons to rush: to finally hook an agent, to get published, to generate enough income to quit your day job or pay off your student loans, or to produce a book a year so that the reading public doesn’t forget you.
But it’s important to keep in mind that there are many writers for whom the announcement of a new book is an event. Donna Tartt, Michel Faber, Meghan Whalen Turner, Patrick Rothfuss, and George R. R. Martin to name a few. The world will happily wait the required time it takes them, because they know that the payoff will be great. They know that the book will be rich and layered and nuanced and full.
So maybe instead of frantically meeting your daily word goal or making sure you spend three hours each day with your butt planted in the writing chair, allow yourself to go forth and do nothing—proudly. It just might be the best thing you can possibly do for your story.
Robin LaFevers on Sep 12 2014
Barnaby is delighted to discover that his daydreaming, wandering mind and wall staring are all part of his creative process and not abnormal behaviour at all. The fruits of this subconscious creative labouring can be found at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk ... Now for a bit more navel gazing.
A) Daydream. A lot.
B) They lose track of time.
C) Have wandering minds.
D) Stare at the wall. A lot.
E) All of the above
If you picked E, you are correct! Successful creatives spend much of their time so deeply immersed in their own internal worlds that, in the eyes of the world, it often appears that they’re doing nothing.
But of course, we know how very untrue that is. Our minds are busy working. Synapses are sparking, neural pathways firing, different corners of our brains coming together, making connections, leaping around seemingly unrelated topics, playing with ‘what if’ possibilities all the time.
The act of thinking used to be a respected one. It was understood that in order to have well-formed ideas and opinions—or even just make good decisions—we had to think about things. But that process doesn’t seem to be held in as much regard anymore. In our productivity-enamored, technology-driven, instantaneous response world, the act of thinking is often considered, at best—quaint, and at its least flattering, an indication of a slow mind. We’re expected to make snap decisions, instantaneous judgments (with or without all the facts, no less!) have ideas gush forth in brainstorming meetings or large, communal bull pit type offices. Then, once the idea has been decided upon, we’re expected to produce, produce, produce non stop in a straight, continuous line until a project is finished. Frankly, I’m exhausted simply writing that paragraph.
So what if your brain doesn’t work that way? Well, now you can take heart in the knowledge that many creative peoples’ don’t and in fact, if your brain doesn’t function that way, perhaps it is due to its creative nature.
For some writers, it takes time to peel off layers of ourselves and weave them into our work. It takes time to observe and study human nature, collecting and appropriating mannerisms, emotional dynamics, and dramas, and then incorporate them into our stories.
This is absolutely not to say that writers or other creatives who are prolific are not creative; creativity comes in many different flavors, sizes, and speeds. But in a world where output, production, and speed are the gold standard, it’s important to remind ourselves that fast doesn’t always mean better. For some people, speed gets in the way of producing their richest, deepest, most creative work.
Even that bastion of productivity, Stephen King, has confessed to having periods of apparent idleness interspersed with frantic bursts of impassioned writing.
Note the word apparent. I’m guessing he couldn’t have one without the other. In fact, those fallow periods are what lead to the frantic production.
I’ve always loved that word fallow. The idea of letting the land lie dormant for a season in order to restore its fertility. But there are lots of terms that work: percolating, stewing, fermenting, gestating. All of the processes take a set of original ingredients and, through the simple alchemy of time, turn them into something more than the sum of their parts. So often we forget that time itself is an essential ingredient to creativity.
Our brain—our subconscious—is doing all sorts of things, even when our conscious mind does not appear to be engaged.
One of my favorite parts of the creative process is discovering the trail of breadcrumbs my subconscious has left me. Those are the bits we put in a story–maybe a line that doesn’t quite make sense at the time–that feel as if they need to be there, so we leave them in. Or a character that comes out of left field, or a plot thread that we hadn’t planned and—-worse!—-we’re not sure where it’s going. But listening to our gut, we leave it in for now, assuring ourselves we can cut it later. Only it turns out, later, when we go back, we see that those bits are absolutely essential to the deeper meaning of our story, or bring a whole new layer of subtext and meaning to the characters’ actions, or allow for a deeper resonance.
That’s our subconscious at work, making the connections and building the links that we didn’t even realize would be the most critical parts of our story. And sometimes, oftentimes, that really can’t be rushed without sacrificing depth or quality.
I also suspect that, early in our writing journeys, the stories just gush out. We have such a backload of stories we want to tell, of things we want to say, and they burst out of us fast and glorious, like a geyser. But eventually, that initial flow slows and we become more intentional and discriminating in what stories we choose to spend our creative capital on.
I want to be clear that fallow periods and daydreaming aren’t about waiting around for the muse to show up or waiting on inspiration. This is about giving ideas the time they need to fully develop. It’s about staring at the wall and thinking about the story, thinking about the characters and the themes and the deeper meanings behind it all rather than getting words on a page to meet a daily goal. Maybe that means doing a lot of pre writing or story journaling, or writing a bazillion drafts. Whatever method works for allowing you the time you need to fully develop your ideas and let them ripen and mature. And sometimes, to the rest of the world, it can look a lot like simply doing nothing. So maybe instead of feeling pressured to hit the keyboard or pick up that pencil before you’re ready, give yourself permission to stare at the damned wall.
The thing is, there are so many reasons to rush: to finally hook an agent, to get published, to generate enough income to quit your day job or pay off your student loans, or to produce a book a year so that the reading public doesn’t forget you.
But it’s important to keep in mind that there are many writers for whom the announcement of a new book is an event. Donna Tartt, Michel Faber, Meghan Whalen Turner, Patrick Rothfuss, and George R. R. Martin to name a few. The world will happily wait the required time it takes them, because they know that the payoff will be great. They know that the book will be rich and layered and nuanced and full.
So maybe instead of frantically meeting your daily word goal or making sure you spend three hours each day with your butt planted in the writing chair, allow yourself to go forth and do nothing—proudly. It just might be the best thing you can possibly do for your story.
Robin LaFevers on Sep 12 2014
***
Barnaby is delighted to discover that his daydreaming, wandering mind and wall staring are all part of his creative process and not abnormal behaviour at all. The fruits of this subconscious creative labouring can be found at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk ... Now for a bit more navel gazing.
Tuesday, 2 September 2014
New TWB Collection. New TAT Poetry Magazine.

Top Writer's Block (TWB) have published a new collection of short stories this week under the title 'Rune', which is available for download in the e-book format of your choice here
Runes were used by Scandinavians and Anglo-Saxons from about the 3rd century. They were formed mainly by modifying Roman or Greek characters to suit carving, and were used both in writing and in divination.
Top Writers Block, a group of writers from around the world who publish books to raise funds for the Sea Shepherd charity, has found its own use for Runes in this collection of short stories.
Short stories are made for breaks, so why not sit for five minutes and enjoy each tale!
You can find more books by Top Writers Block here
Also available this week, to view online or download, is the latest copy of Poetry Magazine from The Australian Times.
You can download a copy here as well as finding links to previous editions.
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for more about the world of Barnaby Wilde.
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Barnaby thinks about garages
Barnaby has been contemplating his garage. Not the place where he buys his fuel, but the structure at the end of his garden, which is called a garage, but has never had a car in it since the day it was built.
In common with most people in Britain (and probably elsewhere), Barnaby's garage is a space in which to store all those things which are too good to throw away and 'might come in useful one day', but which, in practise, are never used again. This is different from that mythical 'safe place' where things are stored but never seen again.
Much of the stuff in Barnaby's garage is either so deeply buried behind or beneath other 'useful' stuff, or is in anonymous brown boxes, that he has long since forgotten what most of it is, thus proving that it's unlikely ever to be used again and probably won't even be seen again until the day he moves house and pays for it all to be moved to the next garage.
So, this week's resolution is to sell as much of this unneeded stuff as possible and Barnaby is feeling virtuous as the first few items have already gone. For the first time in a while, he can actually see a patch of the garage floor.
This problem doesn't arise with Barnaby's e-books, of course, since they take up no space at all. He can carry a whole library in his e-reader. More than he could read in a lifetime. You could, therefore, safely download a few of his books without filling your own garage and be comforted by the knowledge that you will always have something entertaining, amusing or thought provoking to read any time you feel the urge - maybe one of his short stories while you take a break from clearing out your own garage?
You can find out about Barnaby's e-books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk Some of them are even FREE to download.
In common with most people in Britain (and probably elsewhere), Barnaby's garage is a space in which to store all those things which are too good to throw away and 'might come in useful one day', but which, in practise, are never used again. This is different from that mythical 'safe place' where things are stored but never seen again.
Much of the stuff in Barnaby's garage is either so deeply buried behind or beneath other 'useful' stuff, or is in anonymous brown boxes, that he has long since forgotten what most of it is, thus proving that it's unlikely ever to be used again and probably won't even be seen again until the day he moves house and pays for it all to be moved to the next garage.
So, this week's resolution is to sell as much of this unneeded stuff as possible and Barnaby is feeling virtuous as the first few items have already gone. For the first time in a while, he can actually see a patch of the garage floor.
This problem doesn't arise with Barnaby's e-books, of course, since they take up no space at all. He can carry a whole library in his e-reader. More than he could read in a lifetime. You could, therefore, safely download a few of his books without filling your own garage and be comforted by the knowledge that you will always have something entertaining, amusing or thought provoking to read any time you feel the urge - maybe one of his short stories while you take a break from clearing out your own garage?
You can find out about Barnaby's e-books at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk Some of them are even FREE to download.
Monday, 11 August 2014
Barnaby thinks about holidays


Holidays mean different things to different people, of course. If you are working full time, then the holiday is something precious to be anticipated, planned carefully and relished as an alternative to the routine of everyday work. For many folk, this is an opportunity to do nothing, to relax on a beach somewhere, or by a pool. For others, their ideal holiday is indulging some physical activity like sailing, walking, or climbing, and for yet others it's a chance to catch up on repairs to the house or a time to visit friends and family. The essential feature of a holiday, though, is that it's an opportunity to do something different.
For most working people, their holidays will probably be just a couple of weeks a year. For some, especially the self employed, they might be lucky to get even that. Some might think that for folk like Barnaby, who are already retired, life is just one continuous holiday. It's almost true, but there are still plenty of routine chores and financial restrictions which can make that less than an actual reality. Nevertheless, Barnaby considers himself very fortunate to have as many leisure opportunities as he has.


You can find out more at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk and, of course, if you like what you read, then you could always buy one of the follow up books for your next holiday.
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