Monday, 19 August 2013

Barnaby thinks about topiary

Barnaby has been doing the annual trim on two ornamental junipers in his Devon garden. These were planted long before Barnaby lived here and were probably sold originally as 'dwarf' conifers. They are now about twenty feet tall. Now, had the previous owners sculpted these as they grew, by means of judicious snipping and pruning, they could by now be in the form of peacocks, perhaps, or a steam locomotive, maybe. Unfortunately they have grown tall and cylindrical, with a rounded top and look more like giant ... (well, Barnaby is too nice to say what they actually do look like, but he now has the two biggest ones in the neighbourhood).
To celebrate the completion of this year's annual chore, here's a verse that Barnaby wrote on the subject a few years back.

Paradise gardens 
Some people like unkempt gardens
With grasses, wildflowers and sedges.
But I prefer something more formal
With tightly clipped shrubs and trimmed hedges.
A heath’s an elysian field for them.
Paradise is a flowering tree.
But I just want neatness and order.
Yes, yew topiary’s heaven for me.
Oct 02

(You can find more of Barnaby's quirky verse by visiting www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk )

Friday, 9 August 2013

Barnaby's Shorts just got Bigger!

Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts is now available as an e-book from Smashwords  here.

Volumes one to four of Barnaby's Shorts, which are still available as single volumes, have been amalgamated to a single volume containing forty 'coffee break' sized stories.

Ideal for reading on the beach, in the bath, on the train to work, or, while taking your morning coffee.

A mix of genres, including mystery, romance, sci-fi and humour. Who are The Women Furies? Can you grow a man from a bean? Is it possible to rob a bank by accident?
Answers to these questions plus four tales from the Vertigo labs inside.
Can a man get trapped inside a Kindle? What would you do if you were stalked by the invisible man? and how did Amelia find her new man?

For a short period, this e-book is downloadable for 'FREE' in the e-reader format of your choice.

If you enjoy what you read, please leave a review here. This provides valuable feedback to Barnaby and also helps other readers find the book.

You can check out Barnaby's other e-books here

Sunday, 4 August 2013

Barnaby makes a gesture


One of the unexpected positives that Barnaby has discovered since he started publishing e-books has been to make contacts with other Indie authors around the world. The internet has rendered the physical separation of no consequence.

David Keith is an American author, who describes himself as an unreformed hippie. He happens also to be a fine writer and Barnaby has enjoyed, in particular, his series of tales about the characters who inhabit a bar known as The Painted Door. Dave has also been a contributor, with Barnaby, to several collections of stories that have been published to raise funds for the Sea Shepherd charity.

Barnaby is pleased, therefore, to be able to use this blog space to allow David Keith to introduce himself to some new readers.

David H. Keith
 
I have been called a lot of names over the years: smart-ass, curmudgeon, idealist, various parts of my anatomy (which are not always in close physical proximity to each other), as well as a great many others. Some of them are even true to varying degrees, but so are some of the more pleasant names: lover, wise, intelligent, kind, etc. I guess the one word that best describes me is human, in all my nobility and all my failings. I’d rather that being human thing weren’t the case, but I’m sort of stuck with it for now, so it’ll just have to do.

Cover for 'Tales from The Painted Door III: Molly's Walk'
I’m also a writer, which makes me even weirder to some folk. You’ve probably heard the saying that writers are professional liars; well, it’s true in that fiction writers, in particular, just make stuff up to entertain others. That stuff’s relationship to reality is tenuous at best—and that is as true for the so-called news media as for Stephen King, Kathy Reichs, and all the rest of the breed. No matter how objective we try to be, nor as accurate, we are still humans, so we see—and report—through the lenses of our own perceptions, experience, and beliefs. All of us writerly types truly do listen to the voices in our heads. We have to. If we didn’t, we couldn’t write a syllable.

My degree is in Communications with an emphasis on writing. My passions are many, including using our language properly, the absolute freedom of speech we here in the US are told we have, and telling a good yarn. And earning and keeping my wife’s love and respect.

Professionally, I have worked for nigh onto three decades in the medical profession, from combat medic in the US Army to Paramedic in the civilian world and a host of other occupations. If nothing else, this makes me more or less fluent in medicalese; for instance, I know the difference between, say, antiseptic and aseptic. I also know how not to treat a burn and I’ve had the ultimate pleasure of helping a new life into this beat-up old world of ours. I’ve also seen, and even eased, some as they make their final departure. I suppose you could say I have seen both the Alpha and the Omega of human life.

But, wait! There’s more to David H. Keith than a simple medic. I’ve also been a newspaper reporter, photographer (sometimes simultaneously), and editor. Yep, I’m one of the banes of would-be authors everywhere—and I’m quite passionate about it. And that is because I have a deep reverence for language and the proper use thereof. Language, you see, is one of the hallmarks of our being human, or so some say.

My wife, Dr. Elizabeth Rowan Keith, and I have developed a website highlighting our eBooks; we invite you to browse our works at www.novemberfirstpublications.weebly.com. If you’d like to discuss the mechanics of writing, please visit my blog at www.davidkeith1.blogspot.com. There, I give hints to help writers with grammar, punctuation, and all the other little things that make a good story great.

Slainte!

Thursday, 25 July 2013

The right sort of rain?

Barnaby has been enjoying the decent run of uncharacteristically warm weather in the UK this July. Indeed, it has been positively hot, so warm, in fact, that Barnaby was induced to swim in the sea for the first time in about twenty years. (It was still cold).
We have already eaten al fresco more times this month than in the whole of last year and this is shaping up to be one of our better English summers. The plants in the garden have been suffering, however, from lack of water. Barnaby doesn't believe in watering garden plants, except those in pots and baskets and food crops. The lawn is brown and several otherwise hardy perennials are looking distinctly unhappy (this is more or less a euphemism for dead) as well as trees shedding leaves.
Last night, however, we had rain. Not a deluge or a downpour, but steady rain, albeit for only a short time. It was enough to refill the water butts around the house and to wet the top of the soil at least. This morning is bright and clear again, with long sunny periods, though ten degrees cooler than it has been.
So was this the right sort of rain? Well, it came at night, which is always a bonus, it didn't do any damage, but maybe there wasn't quite enough to restore the garden.
For the time being, Barnaby has put away his shorts but he's keeping them close by in case the temperature goes up again. Of course he'd like you to keep his shorts close to you, too, and you can find all five volumes of Barnaby's Shorts at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/barnabywilde to download in the e-book format of your choice. You'll find that they are excellent reading, whatever the weather.

Monday, 15 July 2013

Barnaby thinks about the beach

Barnaby has enjoyed the hot summer weather which has, unusually, been gracing most of the UK for the past two weeks, despite the browning of his lawn and unending need to water the pots, tubs and baskets dotted about the garden. It's been hot and sunny enough to tempt him to drive to the beach on several occasions, though not, so far, to venture into the sea. (Barnaby reserves his swimming for the Mediterranean or the Caribbean).
He has been pondering why the beach is such a popular destination in warm weather, aside from the obvious opportunity to cool down in the sea. His conclusion is that the beach allows us to behave in ways that would be considered disagreeable, improper or just plain antisocial in any other place.
The beach gives us permission to take our clothes off in public, play with mud, throw stones, douse one another with cold water, laze about doing nothing useful and generally behave like kids again.
All this unproductive downtime, of course, can quickly become tedious and Barnaby recommends that alongside your protective hat and sunscreen, that you remember to pack your e-reader. You'll find that B.W.'s e-books are eminently suitable for reading on the beach and you can find out all about them at www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
You can also eat ice cream, of course.

Monday, 8 July 2013

Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Five) now available.





Ten more short stories to read while you take a coffee break; on your train ride to work; in the bath, or on the beach.
 
Three lads play hooky from school, a virtual man who is human in every way, a father and son conversation, a body frozen in the ice.

A story of a marriage in 'A Trace of Boron'. A tale from Sri Lanka in 'Rich Man, Poor Man.' And another tale from the Vertigo Research Labs.
 
A hint of sci fi, a touch of romance, a pinch of humour and always a twist at the end.

What would you do if you met yourself in the street? Where did loneliness come from?

Ten stories in a variety of genres to suit all tastes available as an e-book from here in the format of your choice to read on Kindle, Kobo, mobile phone, PC or tablet.
 
For a limited period, this book is available for FREE download.
 
For more information on Barnaby Wilde's other titles, visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
 


Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Poverty - New title by Top Writer's Block


Top Writer's Block, a consortium of Indie writers, have released their latest collection of short stories, this time written around the theme of 'Poverty'.

The new title contains nine new stories in a variety of styles and genres, interpreting the theme in many different ways.

As with all other collections by Top Writers Block, the authors proceeds will go to the charity Sea Shepherd which devotes itself to protecting our seas and oceans and the life within.    
The new e-book can be downloaded in the format of your choice from http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/332342 

You will also find links to the previous titles published by the group.